Resurrection
by AureaD
Summary: She is a lost soul, travelling west when she meets the Cartwrights.
1. Chapter 1

Resurrection - by AureaD M (The story contains a descriptive dialogue of abuse) Categories: Drama; Romance

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author: The place names were picked at random. Distances and time scales are entirely made up. Here's hoping it will meet with your approval.

….

Chapter 1

She was having a argument with Him as to which way to go, left or right. She wanted to go left but was being told to go right, and she had to obey. So she turned right and headed along a very well-worn hot and dusty road. She had been walking for hours now and could see that the sun was high in the sky so assumed it must be about mid-day and felt she should rest for a spell. She sat on the ground and took a drink from her canteen which she had managed to fill, thankfully, at a small flowing stream she had passed much earlier in the day. She laid down now and closed her eyes and gave herself to dreaming.

When she opened them again she could see that time had gone on and got up and started walking again. She now found herself walking across a field of long grass and suddenly saw a vision that took her breath away. The vista was magnificent. She was at a very high spot and looking at a long slope of pine trees that made their way down to a beautiful lake. This, she fancied, must be what Heaven would look like and silently thanked Him for the opportunity of viewing this place as she knew for sure she would not be seeing Heaven itself.

She spied daisy-like flowers among the grass and started pulling off the heads of those nearby. She sat and pulled all the petals off the flower heads and dropped them into her skirt. When there was a fine batch of petals she took hold of her skirt, stood up, and using her skirt like a folded up apron she began to walk around, scattering them, like sowing seeds, while all the time talking very quietly to herself until all the petals were gone. She wiped the tears away that had been flowing all the while she was scattering the petals. She was totally unaware that her actions were being watched.

It was so silent not even the breeze stirred. With the smell of the pines came the sound of birds and she sat down with her knees drawn up to her chest listening to that beautiful sound. The tears began again as she imagined what it would be like to live here looking on this view every day. She sniffed and used her sleeve on her nose. She fumbled in her old carpet bag and brought out a notebook and pencil and began to draw the view in order to keep the image with her always. Not that she would ever forget it.

But her sojourn came to an abrupt end when she was rudely interrupted by a dark shadow looming over her and a deep velvet voice wanting to know what she was doing there. She quickly jumped up in a panic, dropping her book and pencil and looked around to find a rider facing her with the sun at his back, which made him look like a black knight on his charger about to attack. She could not distinguish any features at all.

"I said, what are you doing here?" He repeated. "This is private property and you should not be here."

She immediately turned and started to run back the way she had come, but the rider rode after her, easily catching up to her. Her foot found a deep rut and down she went with her arms outstretched to help save her fall. The rider jumped off his horse and knelt down to help her but she started to fight him, struggling to free herself from him.

"I'm not going to hurt you" he said, "but you've cut your arm and it's bleeding and needs to be looked at."

She stopped then and looked up. This time she could see his face clearly and the look of genuine concern captured there. It made her gasp as she fought off tears. A shiver went down her spine. This was a very handsome face and she knew now why she had been made to travel down this way.

"I need to get you to my home to take care of your arm" he said with authority. He helped her to feet. It was then he noticed how very pretty she was with her long blonde hair and green eyes. "Are you going to tell me your name? I'm Adam Cartwright."

She had to come up with something fast. "I'm Mary Kelly" she told him in her strongest Irish brogue, "and you're not taking me anywhere. Just leave me be. I can take care of meself. Unhand me you villain. I'm not goin' anywhere with the likes of you." Adam struggled to get her up as she was fighting him all the time. Mary tried to kick him in the shin, hoping it would release his hold on her. How mistaken she was.

"Will you stop fighting me; I'm only trying to help you." Adam gave her a little shake and then held her at arms length to avoid the kicks and was beginning to lose his patience, but he should have realised, as Mary did not know him, she was rightly thinking the worst of his intentions.

"I'm stronger than you are and if I have to throw you over my horse I will do so. I'm taking you to my ranch where I will be able to tend the cut on your arm since I was the reason you injured yourself in the first place. Now are you going to be reasonable?" He asked sternly.

Mary tried to pull away from him again but this time she was trying to bite his hand but again he was able to stop her from doing so.

"You bite me young lady and you'll be sorry" he forewarned.

At this threat Mary stopped fighting and allowed him to lift her onto his horse. Adam walked the horse back to where he first saw Mary to retrieve her notebook and pencil, and glanced at the drawing. "This is very good" he said, as he handed the notebook over to Mary, "You have talent". Then mounted up behind her. Then together they headed towards the ranch.

Mary felt the strangest feeling that was totally new to her and was frightened by it. She liked the way this man's arms were around her as he held onto the reins. His arms felt very strong and comforting. Mary could not allow herself to feel this way about any man. It had to stop right there.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mary had said nothing at all during the ride to the ranch house which seemed a never ending journey to her, but Adam kept trying to reassure her by talking to her and telling her of his home, which he said was called the Ponderosa, and that he lived there with his father and two brothers. When at last they came to the Ponderosa, which Mary had thought must be a small cabin-type house in the middle of nowhere, she looked up in surprise at seeing such a beautiful and large ranch house.

Adam slipped down off Sport and helped Mary down.

"This way if you please" Adam invited, as he led Mary towards the front door, taking her by the arm.

Mary stopped in her tracks and tried to pull herself away from Adam. "I'm not goin' in dere with you" she stated. "How can I trust ya, I don't even know ya."

"You'll have to trust me. I'm not letting you go 'til I've sorted your arm out"

"Very well then, but I'll leave as soon as you completed your task." Mary announced.

They went through the front door and Adam placed his hat on the sideboard. He went to go immediately to the kitchen, but turned around and said to Mary, "Please make yourself at home, while I fetch some warm water and a bandage." He turned again and went into the kitchen while Mary looked on in surprise at his leaving her alone. She couldn't believe he trusted her to stay there.

She looked towards the fireplace which was directly in front of her and slowly walked around the settee to get a closer look. She marvelled at the size of it and thought how right it was for this room. She turned around and surveyed the rest of the room. Her intake of breath was audible, thankfully only to herself. She walked toward the stairs and looked at all the rifles there. There were so many. Mary turned once more and found herself looking at a grand-sized desk and chair covered in green leather. She walked towards it and stopped suddenly as out of the corner of her eye she saw a large bookcase on her right. She stared wide-eyed and overwhelmed at seeing so many books patiently waiting on the shelves for someone to take out and read. Mary was amazed to see such a collection of books out here in the back of beyond. Mary managed to hold back her tears. She could not take her eyes from them. Then her thoughts turned to her staying here for just a little while after all. She could use her arm as an excuse.

Adam now returned with the warm water and bandage which he put on the low table by the fire and asked Mary to come over and sit in the chair.

"I'll have your arm sorted in no time. Then I can take you back to wherever is most convenient for you if that is what you want?" he offered. "Or you could wait and have supper with us before we venture forth."

"Actually, me arm has started to hurt more now and has become difficult to move, so I might just stay a while longer" she announced.

While Adam was tending to her arm he noticed she bit her nails. "I see you bite your nails." he stated. "No…." then hurriedly said, "so, what's it to you mister?"

But was interrupted from further comment when the main door opened to admit three male persons one laughing his head off, which came to an abrupt halt when he saw what was going on near the fire.

"Uh, hi, Adam." said Hoss. "What's goin' on?" "What's happened here" said the tall, silver grey haired man.

"This is Mary Kelly, Pa" Adam answered, "and this, Mary, is my Pa, Ben Cartwright. The other two are my brothers Hoss, he's the big one and Little Joe."

Mary simply nodded her head, not wanting to have to speak to them and acted to show she couldn't care less.

"Mary had a little accident and hurt her arm. But it's going to be okay in a few days." Adam told them. "She is going to stay with us while her arm mends, if that's alright with you Pa?"

"Of course, we have a spare room for guests and would be pleased to have you stay with us Mary, for as long as you wish". Ben said in his usual hospitable style.

"Good" said Mary. "I trust your accommodation will be suitable. I'll go to this room now if someone will show me the way."

Adam had finished tending her arm and looked at her with raised eyebrows, as did the rest of the family.

"I'll show you where the room is" Adam offered, walking up to the stairs and inviting Mary to follow him.

When they were both out of sight, Joe voiced his opinion of Mary saying, "Well she was certainly very grateful to you, Pa, wasn't she!"

"Maybe she's just shy and doesn't know what to say." Hoss offered, sympathetically.

"But everyone, surely, knows how to say 'thank you.' Don't they Pa"

"I would have thought so, but perhaps she has never been taught these things." Hoss suggested. "It sometimes happens you know."

They all turned towards the sideboard and started removing their gun belts, hats and jackets. All famished and wanting their supper.

Upstairs in the guest bedroom:

"I hope you like your room, Mary." Adam said, opening the door and ushering her into the room.

"It'll do me I suppose. At least I won't be in it for long."

"Well it's nice of you to show such gratitude. Perhaps a little rest will help stem your rudeness. I'll call you in time for supper." Adam left the room, trying his best to curb his temper.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Adam called Mary to come down for supper. Eventually she appeared having kept them all waiting for at least ten minutes. Adam's face betrayed his impatience at Mary's lateness and quickly led her to the table.

Then the trouble started. Ben offered thanks for the food they were about to eat and started filling the soup bowls and handing them to Hoss to pass on round the table.

"This delicious soup is one of Hop Sing's highlights."

"I can't believe that you call this swill delicious," she said, wiping her hand across her mouth. "Fish soup? Whoever thought of making a soup from fish. Some randy Frenchman I'm sure! It's repulsive!"

There was a deafening silence as the others stopped eating their soup, with spoons in the air, halfway to mouths and all eyes raised to look at Mary. Mary threw her spoon down into the bowl of soup and crossed her arms.

"I hope there is something else on the menu?"

They were all too stunned to say anything, and continued to eat their soup. When the soup course was finished, Hop Sing came out from the kitchen and cleared the dishes away, and came back with tureens filled with potatoes and vegetables and went once more back to the kitchen and returned with a large plate covered in roast beef slices and a jug of gravy.

"Eat now before it get cold." Hop Sing ordered, then made his way back to the kitchen.

"Who was that?" Mary asked, laughing.

"That was Hop Sing our cook and housekeeper." Ben said, smiling and trying to keep a hold of his temper. "What's so funny?"

"Just proves you're like everyone else; you use cheap labour to do your bidding."

Adam felt his temper flair and admonished her for what she just said, as he was the one who had brought her here. "Hop Sing has been with us for many years and is deemed to be as one of the family and our friend. Now I suggest we all calm down and continue to eat this wonderful meal Hop Sing has prepared for us."

With that said, all the men plunged into the tureens and filled their plates. Adam offered the meat plate to Mary, who just took one piece, and told her to help herself to the potato and vegetables. This she did. Mary took up her knife and fork and immediately dropped the knife back down on the table, using only her fork. This did not go unnoticed by Adam. Lifting the slice of meat onto the fork, Mary took a bite and chewed for all she was worth. Mary tried to mask her obvious distaste but could not keep quiet.

"Is this the best ya have t'offer." She said disapprovingly. "I've tasted better than this. This meat is tough. Perhaps the potato is better" She placed some in her mouth and spat it out immediately back onto her plate. "Obviously not."

Ben, Joe and Hoss all stared open-mouthed at her behaviour, but Adam looked at Mary suspiciously, but all were too polite to say anything. Until….. "I'm sorry the food is not to your liking Mary" Adam said controlling his temper. "This is all there is. Therefore you can eat it or go without."

"I'll go without t'anks" she answered, and stood up, knocking her chair over saying, "I'll go up to me room then," and stormed up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

"Well, shy or no, I know what she needs." Hoss intimated.

"Maybe so" Adam agreed. "But there's something wrong here."

"Oh. What do you think it is, Adam" Joe asked.

"I've no idea, it's just a feeling I have. Sorry, Pa, for causing this unpleasantness."

"Good grief, Adam, it's not your fault." Ben said, consolingly. "But she will have to mend her ways if she is to stay with us for any length of time. Now let's finish our supper in peace, shall we. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. I think we'll all need an early night."


	4. Chapter 4

Note: I wish to thank everyone for their kind comments. I hope I can keep all of you interested in what will happen to Mary.

Chapter 4

Mary didn't sleep very well at all. She tossed and turned and woke up in the middle of the night feeling full of remorse and dreadfully hungry. She had not bothered to undress at all, so just as quietly as she could she made her way to the bedroom door and opened it and listened. She was relieved to hear a lot of snoring going on, and looking up and down the hallway, found nothing amiss. Mary ventured forth along the corridor towards the stairs. Hoping there were no creaking boards she carefully made her way downstairs.

Mary found that a light was left burning low, luckily, so she was able to see her way across the room to the kitchen area, but it was in darkness so Mary retraced her steps to the big room and found a lamp to light. Having done this she returned with the lamp to the kitchen, and found some bread and meat from the supper, made a large sandwich and poured herself a glass of milk.

'This will do nicely' she said to herself. By putting the sandwich in her mouth she was able to carry both the milk and the lamp. Mary put it back where she found it and turned it out.

Now she only had the stairs to negotiate. She made it up to her room went inside and closed the door. She did not notice one of the other bedroom doors close noiselessly after hers.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The following morning, as Mary kept everyone waiting for breakfast, Adam suggested they go ahead and eat their breakfasts and that he would wait for Mary and have his breakfast with her. They readily agreed. Eager not to have a repeat of yesterday's evening meal.

"What are we doing with Mary today" Ben questioned.

"I thought to take her into Virginia City for the day Pa, and show her around." Adam stated. "Maybe buy her a new dress; the one she has on is pretty well worn. That is, of course if she'll let me!

That got a laugh out of Joe. "I don't envy you that older brother."

"Neither do I," said Hoss, agreeing.

"Well it's agreed then, let's eat and be on our way. We'll leave the hellion with you," Ben said with a smile, knowing Adam was going to have his hands full.

…

Mary eventually arrived down for breakfast and once again made a fuss over the food.

"I suggest you just eat it and forget how distasteful it is to you," Adam told her. How on earth was he going to keep his temper all day with Mary's attitude as it was? "If you lived here and spoke as you do, there would be consequences you wouldn't like. But, if you continue with your attitude, I might just forget that you are a guest."

Afeared he might carry out his threat, Mary indulged him, grimacing all the time she ate.

"Now arrangements for today." Adam began. I'm taking you with me into Virginia City as I don't want to leave you alone in a strange house. Anyway, I think some fresh air will do you good. There's extremely pretty scenery for you to see along the way, and who knows, you may enjoy the ride. Of course, whether you do or not, is up to you."

"If you say so," she grumbled. "But I'm sure I shall be bored all the same."

"With that outlook, I'm sure you will."

….

They eventually made their way into Virginia City using the wagon as Adam had supplies to pick up for the ranch and Hop Sing.

Mary loved the country she was riding through but would never allow herself to voice her thoughts. Inside she rejoiced at the scenery but outwardly complained that this was the bumpiest ride she had ever taken. Adam just smiled to himself and gritted his teeth, playing along with her game, for game it was, he was sure. But keeping his temper under control might become a problem.

They made it into Virginia City by 11 o'clock and Adam told Mary to have a look around the town, especially in the dressmakers window as he was going to buy her a new dress and he was not going to take 'no' for an answer.

"I'm going into the general store to leave the list of our supplies; they'll be ready some time later." Adam announced. "Then I have to go and see Doc Martin"

"Oh you're ill then. I tought so, with such a frowning expression all the time. It's probably a lot of gripe you're havin'." Mary knew just how accurate a diagnosis she had made, all due to her behaviour of course. But it couldn't be helped. Inwardly she apologised.

"My visit is purely a social one; the Doc and I are old friends. I promised him a visit next time I was in town." Adam told her. "You on the other hand may visit where you like, but don't forget your way back to the wagon. Let's say we meet back here in one hour. And don't run off. Your arm is not properly healed yet and might cause you trouble. Better safe than sorry. Maybe Doc Martin should take a look at it to be sure."

"No, that's not necessary," Mary said, too quickly. "My arm is fine and I won't run off."

"Do you promise?" Adam asked.

"No, I never promise anyting. Just expect me back…. or not." Mary replied with a smirk.

They parted and went their separate ways.

Mary was now free to discover what she came for. The church and the school. She took in all aspects of these buildings inside and out and made a mental note of each. Mary then wandered around the town passing the many stores, without looking in any of the windows, and on through the town towards one of the saloons, The Silver Dollar, where she looked over the swing doors to get a picture of the inside and got a few looks from some of the customers there. She gulped and turned quickly around to see what next there was to see.

Then she saw the telegraph office, made her way over to it and went inside. She emerged after a little while and retraced her steps back to the buckboard to wait for Adam, but of course he was already there, having spied her coming out of the telegraph office.

"Had a good look around?" Adam asked. "I hope you looked in the dressmakers window. Did you?"

"Yes," she lied, "I saw nothing that I liked."

"Well, we'll just go back there and this time we'll go inside and buy you a dress, whether you want to or not," Adam said firmly. "The one you have on is almost threadbare."

"I don't want a dress or nuthin' else from you." Mary shouted. "I'm not a charity case."

"I'm not going to argue with you out here on the street. And please lower your voice. You are getting a new dress, period." he said with authority. His temper rising again. "I intend taking you to lunch at the International Hotel and you can't go in there looking as you do." "Now, this way," he said, and taking her firmly by the arm walked her over to the dressmakers, Mary having to practically run alongside to keep up with him.

Mary was told to disappear behind the screens to try on some dresses and to reappear for Adam to approve or not. Mary had tried three dresses on before Adam chose the lemon one with slightly darker lace edging the neck and puff sleeves.

While Mary disappeared again behind the screens, Adam paid for all three dresses and told the dressmaker to have the other two delivered to the Ponderosa and paid her extra for her trouble.

…

Adam and Mary walked down the street towards the International Hotel passing some ladies of the town who looked at them with smiles on their faces. Adam touched the brim of his hat, "Morning ladies." Lunch was going to be a challenge Adam thought, hoping they would get through it without any antagonism. Surprisingly it went fairly well, with, of course, barbs coming from Mary, such as "Well at least it is tastier than other places I know." etc., etc.

After lunch they went back to the general store to pick up the supplies, which were now ready for collection and storing on the wagon. This done Adam assisted Mary up onto the seat, then walked around and climbed up the other side, took hold of the reins and started off.

"As there is no rush in getting back I thought I'd show you some of the pleasant spots on the Ponderosa for you to look at." Adam said, hopefully.

"If you say so, I can't stop you can I. You're drivin'." Mary said.

"Can you never say anything pleasant Mary? I don't believe you are as cantankerous as you make yourself out to be."

"I'll be whatever I want to be. Just shut up and drive. The sooner we get back the better."

But Adam would not be put off by her behaviour and did just what he planned to do by driving her around the Ponderosa. Mary showed no interest in anything she saw. By the time they got back it was starting to get dark. Adam helped Mary down from the wagon and suggested she go on into the house and relax. Maybe lay down for a rest. After all it had been a long day.

"I'll get these supplies off the wagon and put the horses in the barn, rub them down and feed them. Then perhaps I might interest you in a game of checkers. Do you play?"

"Games? Don't be stupid. Only fools play games. I don't play games and if I did I certainly wouldn't play with you." Mary said vehemently. And stormed into the house and up to her room.

Adam thought, _'No, but that is just what you are doing young lady, playing games.'_ Adam was left standing, feeling anger and sorrow at the same time. Something was forcing Mary to behave as she did, he was sure of it. He turned his attention to the job in hand and hoped by the time he was finished Mary would have calmed down. But surely that was wishful thinking.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Mary went straight to her room and sat on the edge of the bed to think. '_What in the world is happening to me. I can't stay here much longer.' _

While no-one was aboutshe tiptoed into the hallway and in through one of the other doors. This was Adam's room she knew as she could smell his masculine aroma there and closing her eyes, drank it in. She looked around the room, seeing all the books that were there and saw a delightful box with roses on it. She picked it up and opened the lid. It started to play a delightful little tune but she shut it immediately as she didn't want anyone to hear. She walked over to the wardrobe wanting to view his clothes there.

She heard the door downstairs open and close and swiftly made her way back to her own room.

…

Supper time again and once more Mary kept them waiting, but this time she was clean and looking much better in her new dress.

"Well, everyone, how do you think Mary looks," Adam said, admiring his handywork. '_At least she was still wearing it. Perhaps this was a good sign?' _

Ben came across to Mary and offered his arm to escort her to the table. "May I escort you to the table, Mary?" She just stared at him as though he had said something rude, walked straight passed him toward the table and sat down. The men looked at each other with raised eyebrows, astounded at the rebuff, and heard the warning sign at Ben's intake of breath. Adam's lips were pressed hard together, trying to stem his anger once again at her insolence and Hoss and Joe were frowning, wondering why Adam had not taken a firm hand by now.

Once they were all seated Ben asked Mary if she would like to give the Blessing.

"No, I will not, never have and never likely to," Mary answered. "You do it if you must."

Ben held his temper and gave the blessing. Then they all set about filling their plates, that is except for Mary.

"You're not eating?" asked Ben.

"Already eaten today in Virginia City and I must say it was an improvement on the fare here. I don't need to suffer it again." Mary said with feeling.

Ben looked across at Adam voicing, with his eyes, that something should be done about her unbelievable behaviour. And if Adam didn't, then he would. Joe and Hoss kept their heads down and started eating.

"That's enough." Adam told her, very sternly. "Just sit there then and be quiet while the rest of us eat."

Barely able to control his anger Adam started eating his food.

….

About an hour later everyone was trying to relax by the fire. Ben in his red leather chair, reading the newspaper, Adam in the blue chair, reading his new book and Hoss and Joe on the settee and low table, respectively, playing checkers near their Pa's side. They had left Mary by herself still sitting at the table.

Adam called Mary over. "Why don't you come and sit by the fire.

"What for?"

"Thought you might like to join us and not be left by yourself over there."

She stood up and dragging her feet made her way over to the other end of the settee and sat, staring into the fire.

Ben put his paper down and decided to draw Mary into a conversation. He told Mary something of the family how Adam went away to college and studied architecture and drew up the plans for this ranch house.

Mary looked up surprise but said "Well at least he's good for something."

Adam kept a restraint on himself at this barb.

She listened but looked disinterested. In fact Mary listened and took in everything they all said, but they were not to know this. So Ben then asked Mary to tell them about herself. Where she was from and family. She knew this moment would come and how she had dreaded it.

With a deep sighed she began to relate her life. "It's not a very nice story, but well, I lived with me grandfather who owned a poor furniture store back in Willow Creek but all went bad, he owed rent and we had to leave. We travelled in a westerly direction and met many folk along the way. Unfortunately, grandfather liked his game of cards and didn't do very well at all. Indeed he lost us all the money we had."

"But luck was on our side though for we met a travelling show, which boasted models of historical characters, good and bad, hoping to educate people along the way. The owner, Mrs Harley, a widow lady, offered us some food and drink. She also offered us both board and lodging as well as work. Grandfather did some odd jobs while I worked on sewing and announcing our presence, of the show that is, to the crowds who followed us."

Mary paused for breath and looked over at Adam who was leaning on the arm of the chair with his hand across his mouth, index finger tapping and eyes listening intently to what she was saying, but had a look of disbelief in them.

"We had been travelling with the show for just a little while when I noticed me Grandfather eyeing the moneybox kept by Mrs Harley. It was time to move on. We stole away during the night."

Mary looked around at the others. Only Ben and Adam seemed to be listening to her. Hoss and Joe were concentrating on the game of checkers.

"By now we'd spent what little money we had. We were destitute. Also the weather turned bad. We slept under trees along the way and then me grandfather took sick and coughed a lot. We managed to find a 'retreat' who offered to look after him but his health took a turn for the worse and he died. The people there buried him for me and I said my goodbyes. Now I was alone but decided to continue travelling west, ever onward toward the coast, where I hope to find work."

"That's an amazing story" said Ben, "and you're travelling all on your own. You know that's not safe, don't you?"

"I suppose so, but I have to do it. It's what me grandfather wanted us to do. So I'm goin' to do it."

"Well I'm glad that you told us, Mary" Ben said and returned to his paper.

"Yes," Agreed Adam. A very interesting story indeed."

Ben and Adam were silent after listening to Mary's story. The other two were still busy with their checkers, now on their third game.

"I could read you some of my book, if you like. Adam suggested, "I'm nearing the end though."

"As long as it's not boring" Mary said, showing her contempt intensely.

"It's a _'Charles Dickens'_ novel, he stressed, 'A Tale of Two Cities' and it's about London and Paris during the French revolution."

Adam went on to describe, briefly, the story to her so Mary could understand what was going on.

He was reaching the end of the story, when Mary yawned.

"Tiring you out am I" Adam said sarcastically.

"Yes you are. It is the most boring story I've ever heard, hopefully not much more to go, is there? I want you to finish it though, so I can tell folk I listened right to the end of the most boring book that was ever written." She said proudly.

"Alright I will, so you can say just that." Adam agreed, smiling. His tolerance level was beginning to rise again.

Adam read on and finished the book with the words. "It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done; It's a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known."

"Done at last. Thank the Lord. What a monotonous voice you have. It's driven me to sleep. I hope there are no others that you want to read to me." she said, showing her displeasure.

Adam shook his head. "No."

"Good." Mary said gladly. Then stood and marched to the stairs. Turned and said "Goodnight".

"Goodnight" came the reply from Adam and Ben.

Neither Adam nor Ben said one word. They just sat staring at one another, each knowing exactly what was going through their minds.

"It's your problem son" Ben said. "One that you need to solve right now."

"I'll deal with it in the morning, I'm too angry right now. I need to calm down before I tackle the problem. And with that in mind I too will say goodnight."


	7. Chapter 7

NB: Hoping to make you more confused over Mary's behaviour.

**Chapter 7 **

It was once again the middle of the night and Mary made her way down the stairs as before, lit the lamp, went into the kitchen and brought another sandwich out, along with a glass of milk which she put down on the low table. She went straight to the book cabinet and took out the copy of A Tale of Two Cities. Took it over to the lamp next to the fire and sat on the stone hearth leaning over the table just staring at the book, then caressed it in a lovingly manner.

She began to breath deeply and opened the book somewhere near the end. Tears began to flow with intense emotion. Mary touched the page with loving affection and started to read as best she could through her tears. She began reading aloud, breathing life into the words, but in whispered tones of course, stopping every so often trying to stop her tears.

Mary read for around fifteen minutes when she heard a cough from upstairs. She bolted like lightening, putting the novel back in the bookcase and ran back out to the kitchen with her sandwich and milk, which she hadn't even touched. And raced back to the big room, turned down the lamp, her eyes tilted upward, waiting for any other sound, and when she felt it was safe, returned to her room.

Hazel eyes had watched her every move from the darkened corner beneath the stairs. Waited until all was silent, Adam ventured back up to his room, laid down, his mind working overtime before he eventually succumbed to sleep.

Just a little while later, now dressed in black trousers and shirt, wearing boots that were too big and an old hat, all purloined from amongst the wardrobes in the other bedrooms, Mary silently made her way downstairs and across the room to the main door. She turned and looked once more around the big room. "Goodbye Ponderosa and you wonderful people. God bless you Adam, I shall miss you, but will never forget you" she whispered, without a trace of an Irish accent, wiping away a tear. Turned, went through the door and was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

NB: Once again a great big thank you for all of your reviews. I hope to keep you stumped for a while yet. Perhaps some of you are making guesses of your own. Well, let's get on with Chapter 8.

Chapter 8

Knowing they would never wish to try and find her and take her back, because of her treatment of them, she made her way along in the dark, through trees and brush, keeping well away from the roads. Her plan was to keep walking along until she found a small town, where she could possibly stay a couple of days and find herself some work. A little money is now what was required for food. Lodgings were under a tree, inside a barn, a hayloft. She didn't much care which.

…

Hoss and Joe quickly made their way downstairs for breakfast the following morning with Adam close behind them, but at a much slower pace, his thoughts keeping him occupied. Hop Sing was reporting to Ben, already seated at the table, of what he had found in the kitchen that morning.

"Waste of good food." Hop Sing was saying.

"What food," said Hoss, never wanting to miss out on talk of food.

"A uneaten sandwich and a glass of milk I found in the kitchen this morning."

"Mary probably made it for herself but felt so quilty she couldn't face it, I wouldn't wonder." Adam remarked lightly, defending her, as he sat down in his usual seat at the end of the table, facing his Pa.

"She goin' to keep us waiting again this morning?" Joe complained.

"No" said Adam. "This time I'll see that she doesn't."

He rose from his chair and went up the stairs, and along the landing to her room. Knocked and called her name. No reply.

"If you don't answer me, I'll come in." Silence. "Ok, you asked for it."

Adam opened the door, found the room empty and the bed not slept in. Mary's carpet bag was gone. He looked in the wardrobe and found the yellow dress hanging there. He was back downstairs immediately and reported that Mary had gone.

"Well, that's good news." Joe said happily. "She's been so unappreciative the whole time she was here, I'm glad she's gone."

"Joseph." Ben admonished. "That's enough. I agree she behaved very badly, but I don't like to think of her out there travelling all on her own. Shouldn't we try to track her down?"

"I agree with you, Pa" Hoss said, reluctantly showing his own concern.

"Very well," Adam announced. "I'll do it, as I brought this…. this…. girl here in the first place. I am going to eat my breakfast, then prepare a packed lunch and be on my way."

"Very good, Adam." Ben endorsed.

…..

Several days had now passed and dark-haired Mary Pearce found herself in a little town called Woodville, where she was able to find a job, serving table and washing dishes. She also saw that the eating house had a piano, of sorts, and asked the owner, Mr Bryant, if she could play it to entertain the diners for a little extra money. Mr Bryant was unsure about this request, but eventually agreed. The pieces that Mary played seemed to soothe the digestion of the customers and the owner soon found that this innovation brought in more business and was thriving because of it.

After the week was out, Mary received a wage which surprised her as it was more than had been agreed. Thanking Mr Bryant, she set off in search of a clothes store. As she had only the one worn dress, Mary decided she could afford another one and maybe some boots. Mary slept in an upstairs room over the eating house, which went with the job.

For another week Mary continued with all her jobs and received another good wage at the end of it. Mr Bryant tried to persuade her to stay another week. Regrettably, Mary thanked him for the offer but had to refuse. She wished Mr Bryant well, thanking him for his generosity and saying she had to leave as she had business elsewhere.

…..

Adam slumped in his chair deflated. Time had gone on and no sign of Mary.

"I can't believe she left no trace. She must be either lucky or a very clever girl to have outwitted me. Three weeks, Pa. What can I do?"

"Maybe there is nothing you can do. Mary obviously doesn't want to be found and could be anywhere by now. I don't think she would have come to any harm. She is a strong-willed girl and will manage well enough, I believe."

"That's where you're wrong, Pa. I think Mary is not quite as strong-willed as you think, that it has all been an act, which I was going to get to the bottom of one way or another. And now I can't find her."

"What makes you think that?" Ben asked.

"Oh, little things that gave me cause to doubt. I just don't think anyone could be as obnoxious as Mary was." Adam expressed. "I know that doesn't excuse the way she behaved."

"Well, I think you should stop worrying about her now and turn your mind to the ranch. There are outstanding jobs that need doing." Ben stated.

"Yes, I suppose so. I should try turning my mind to other things, at least for the time being. Thanks Pa."

…

Mary had passed through several towns now, each enabling her to find work of some kind, even to cleaning up a livery stable and brushing down horses in a place called Kilve. She had changed her name to Tom Rider. Her disguise seemed to be working. Mary had earned money, little as it was, and saved it only to buy food. She always found somewhere to sleep. When it came to colder weather she would have to pay for a room and would have to start saving a little of any money she managed to earn.

She had been travelling now for five weeks and was beginning to feel weary indeed when she arrived in Wolf Creek, another small town. Mary walked around, looking for notices of work. She was lucky once again. The owner of a general store was looking for an assistant and said he never wanted any good looking women to work for him, serving customers, especially the kind with long blonde hair, as this would put the male population off 'buying'. But, he said, she would do nicely with her dark hair in a bun, eyeglasses and worn out clothes. Nobody would be bothered looking at you. Board and lodge were thrown in. So Mary started work straight away. She told Mr Simons her name was Grace Thomas.

…

Joe rode in with the mail, dismounted, tied Cochise to the hitching rail and walked into the house. Ben was sitting at his desk as Joe handed him the mail.

"Anything important?" Joe asked.

"I don't think so. A couple of bills and a letter for me, oh and a letter for Adam. That's it."

"Well, I'll get Cooch into the barn and sorted then." Joe said as he left his father with the mail.

A little later all three brothers had arrived in the house, waiting for supper.

"This came for you today, but it doesn't say from where." Ben said as he handed over the letter to Adam.

"Thanks, Pa. I'll read it after supper."

Hop Sing had made Hoss' favourite dish, his famous roast pork dish which he knew they all liked very much.

"How did your day go, Hoss" Ben asked.

"Oh just fine, Pa. I got the north pasture fence fixed. It was stubborn, but in the end I won through. Just as well, another month and the weather will turn and trekking out there would have really been a chore."

"And you Joe?"

"Yeah, Pa."

"You're not listening. How was your day?" Ben repeated.

"Oh, I finished all I had to do, Pa. And had myself a beer in the Silver Dollar, then came home." Joe reported, and smiled to himself. There was more but decided not to tell his father of it. Safer that way.

"Adam, how about you?"

"Just like Hoss and Joe, Pa. I too finished my work. I managed to finally break in that black horse. Took a while, but I got there."

"Good, good, a hard day's work done by all." Ben said, by way of a 'thank you'.

After supper they were all in the usual places next to the fire, Ben with the newspaper and Adam with his letter. Hoss and Joe with the checkers board.

Adam's mind was in turmoil not knowing what to do. A new experience for him. He just couldn't get Mary Kelly out of his mind. Concerned for her, wondering where she was and what she was up to and if she was alright. And now this letter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter ****9 **

Mary, still determined to carry on with her planned commitment had arrived in a town with a good population from the looks of things. A number of streets with lots of shops, and of course saloons. She was in the town of Winslow and was looking to see if the town had a school house or church. They had both. Mary was badly in need of food and rest but was completely out of funds. She wondered if the church would help her and made her way there.

It was actually quite a large church and on entering found just inside a holy water font. Mary noticed a few people scattered around the church as she made her way down the central aisle and sat in one of the pews. She knelt down on the hassock and put her head in her hands as if praying. Then sat back up. Mary couldn't remember having ever been inside a Catholic church and she found herself staring at the ornate statuary that lined the church and altar_. _

Father Phillip had watched Mary enter and allowed her some time to herself, before approaching her. He introduced himself. "Hello and welcome to our church, I'm Father Phillip"

Mary sat up and smiled, "I'm Erica Adams. How do you do Father."

"I haven't seen you before have I? I sense you are in trouble and I would very much like to help you if I can." The Father spoke with sincerity.

"Not in trouble Father, just fatigued. May I rest here awhile?" Mary asked. "I've been walking on and off for the last six weeks."

Not wishing to press her with further questions, Father Phillip said, "Of course. When did you last eat?"

"Yesterday morning, Father. I ran out of funds to purchase any more food."

"Then you must come along with me, Mrs Ramarez will look after you. She's my housekeeper."

"Thank you Father, I very much appreciate your kind help." She said, with much gratitude.

Father Phillip directed Erica to the Rectory where Mrs Ramarez welcomed her, fed her and led her to a guest bedroom where she could rest. Erica undressed and washed. She fell asleep the minute her head touched the pillow.

When she awoke she had forgotten for the moment where she was and sat up in a rush, then noticed the crucifix on the wall and remembered. What on earth was she going to say to Father Phillip. She had to think on this, not wanting to anger him in any way. Maybe there was something she could do for him in the way of recompense.

Not sure of where she was going, she managed to find her way to the kitchen where Mrs Ramarez was cooking breakfast.

"Good morning," she said. "I hope you rested well. Sit down and have some breakfast."

"You are very kind, but I don't deserve all this attention. I'm hoping there is something I can do in return for your goodness."

"I'll leave that in Father Phillip's hands. I'm sure he can find something for you to do. We always need help of some kind. Now eat." Mrs Ramarez gently said, placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Erica. She poured a cup of coffee for her too, then turned back to her chores leaving Erica to eat in peace.

…..

"I need your help Roy, with Mary Kelly." Adam said. "I want to find out information at the telegraph office and I need you to sanction it."

"Who is this Mary Kelly that you are so concerned about Adam," Roy Coffee asked.

"She is someone in trouble I believe and needs my help, whether she wants it or not."

Adam went on to explain how all of this came about. Then came the explanation of the letter he'd received.

"I received a letter from an anonymous source, with plans and a bank draft for $5,000 for the repair and extension of both our church and school house, plus a proviso that I draw up the plans and oversee the work. I can only think that it was Mary who did this, but why is what I don't understand. I know she made a stop in the telegraph office when we came to town that once, and I thought to start there. Now Roy, as this involves our town of Virginia City, then you are surely, as Sheriff, within your rights to gain any information you can about Mary Kelly. Right?"

"Well Adam, if it is she or not, then I would need to find out where this money came from and if it was stolen. Let's go."

"About three to four weeks ago, you say," said Bert, "Well now let me think. Mary Kelly you say."

"Yes," Adam said irritatingly. "A shortish blonde girl in a worn out dress. Do you remember her."

"Yes I remember her, nice face, friendly smile and very grateful for my time. It's the name I don't recall. Hold on and I'll look through my papers here."

"Friendly smile?" Said Adam arching his left eyebrow. "That is definitely wrong."

"It's not her then?" Roy asked.

Bert returned with a grin on his face.

"Here we are, I thought the name wasn't right. It's Mary Pearce."

"What!" Adam shouted, losing control. "Her name was a lie. If ever I get my hands on her again she is going to answer for all the trouble she's …..

"Ok Adam," Roy said, holding up his hand, stopping Adam's tirade. "Now what exactly did this Mary Pearce do here?"

"She asked me to send a telegram."

"Yes we already assumed that. What did it say?" Adam said, beginning to get nettled. This was like getting blood out of a stone.

"Sheriff, am I supposed to reveal what was in the telegram. I thought telegrams were private and the contents revealed to only the sender and receiver. And of course the telegraphist."

"Bert, I am the law around here and when I need information, I usually get it. Now do I have to resort to threats under the law regarding the contents of the telegram. I want to know now what was in it and who it was to."

Bert did not hesitate. "It was sent to a Mr Welles of the First New York Bank, New York. And it read: Send $5,000 to Mr Adam Cartwright, Ponderosa Ranch, Virginia City, Nevada. Write him with the idea for restructuring the church and school house and proviso that he draw up the plans and oversees the work." Bert finished with a deep breath having read the whole telegram without taking one.

"How did she pay for this telegram?" Adam asked.

"She told me she had just enough to pay for this very important telegram, and so she did."

"Well, I think I ought to reply to Mr Welles of the First New York Bank, New York, don't you. I need to find out more about Miss Mary Kelly/Pearce" Adam stated through gritted teeth.

"Now Adam, she can't be all bad, giving so generously as she did."

"I'll stay and telegraph Mr. Welles, Roy. Thanks for your support. I won't keep you any longer. I know you must have lots to do.

"I think it proves you right in the matter Adam. Good luck. Be seeing you Bert." Roy said as he left the telegraph office.

"Right, lets get this telegraph off and mark it very urgent. I'll stay in town until I receive a reply."

"OK" said Bert. "What would you like to say?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter ****10 **

Erica found her way back into the church where oddly she felt safe and not because of God's presence. She walked around the church, looking and making a mental note of structual damage and eventually found the organ. She sat on the seat and touched it gently.

"Can you play?" came the voice of Father Phillip.

The suddenness of his voice made Erica jump.

"I used to play" she replied, "but its been a while and I'm not sure how I would be now."

"Why not give it a go. There's a hymnal in the cupboard right next to you and there's no-one here so you can play to your heart's content." Father Phillip said encouringly.

"Are you sure it would not disturb anyone, because I'd love to have a go?" Erica asked.

"Of course, please go ahead. I'll leave and give you privacy."

After Father Phillip left, Erica found the hymnal, opened it and put in on the music stand. She didn't care what the hymn was; she just started to pump the pressure bellows and began to play the hymn in front of her. She gasped as she heard the familiar sound and with her heart beating fast she continued to play the hymn to the end. When she had finished she took in one great gulp of air and let it out, holding back tears that were welling in her eyes.

She took another look in the cupboard and found some music of Bach. His 'Sheep May Safely Graze Cantata'. Erica placed it on the music stand and took a deep breath and began. Although the organ was quite old the sound it gave out rang throughout the church, which brought a flow of tears from Erica which she was unable to stop, but with determination continued to play the piece to the end.

….

One week later Adam received confirmation that Miss Pearce was indeed responsible for the $5,000 donation sent to Adam for the restorations of the church and school in Virginia City. Her appearance shows her to be about 5ft 4" tall, brown hair and green eyes. More than that Mr. Welles from the Bank of New York would not divulge. Adam sent back a telegram thanking him for his help.

'Brown hair, but she was blonde when at the Ponderosa; which was the true colour?' Adam thought. 'Why would she want to hide her identity? I need to find her and discover what is going on here. She has so irritated me with her performance but now I find I have a need to protect her. I must find her.'

…

"There is a need for an organist to play for our church concert in two weeks time. Our organist has been taken ill and we have been left without music. Now you did ask if there was anything you could do for us." Father Phillip entreated.

"But to play in front of people when I haven't played for such a long time."

"Your playing sounded most beautiful and I have no concerns as to your ability Miss Adams."

"Please call me Erica. I would be delighted to give it a go Father Phillip. It's an opportunity I wouldn't miss, even with my own nervousness. Very well, lets sit down and you tell me all that has been organised for this concert," Erica said with eagerness.

The following week Erica had organised a programme for the concert and was having them printed and distributed around the town. Also she had organised the children into a choir with such good ensemble singing. There was one boy, Ramone, who she discovered was a boy soprano and was coaching him in singing Schubert's Ave Maria.

Erica herself had also been asked to sing, but what to sing. Something simple but effective. A quartet was decided upon and she was rehearsing with three others chosen from amongst the church choir as Father Phillip entered the church.

"It all seems to be going to plan, thanks to you Erica. I'm so grateful to you. You have worked so hard with everyone."

"I've enjoyed it very much, a rare treat for me, but will be glad when its performed at the end of the week." Erica responded with a smile. "We'll just finish with this last hymn and then go home for a well-earned rest." …..

The time was about six in the early evening and a pleasantly warm one at that. Erica walked behind the rectory and up the hill where she had seen wild flowers growing. She stooped and picked a load then sat down and pulled off all the petals, as she had done many times before. Pulled her skirt into an apron shape, stood up and started to scatter them, while talking to the elements and crying at the same time.

Father Phillip had noticed her from the back parlour as she had walked up the hill and felt remorseful at having watched her and wondered what this little ritual was all about.

….

"Adam, here's something we should go to." Ben announced as he came in through the front door. "A church concert. I saw this poster in town. The concerts over in Winslow, only a couple of days travel. We could do with some singing, which has not been heard this side of the Sierras before." Ben read out the notice. **"A CONCERT IS TO BE HELD AT ST. MATTHEW'S CHURCH, WINSLOW, ON SATURDAY 20TH SEPTEMBER** **AT 3 PM.** **A stunning new organist and singer named Erica Adams will be performing and transfixing the audience around her." **

This announcement caught Adam's attention and made him look up. His face in deep concentration. Then after a few moments he said, "Well it sounds good, and we owe ourselves time to relax, but we can't just go off for a few days."

"Sure you can," Hoss said. "Would do you both good. You could sure use a break from the ranch right now. Especially you Adam. This culture trip is just what you could do with."

"I agree," said Joe, hastily. "Ever since Mary Kelly was here and left, you have been like bears with sore heads and we have had to endure the brunt of it."

"Yeah, I think its time you put that matter behind you and enjoyed yourselves for a change." Hoss said in agreement.

"Yes, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. Ok," Ben said, "we'll get going in the morning and take our time getting there."

"So with that resolved, I'm off to bed" Adam stated as he walked up the stairs and disappeared into his room.

…

Erica had just completed working on the programme for the concert and felt it was going to be a big success for Father Phillip and the church. Also, it had given her great satisfaction and pleasure with her involvement. The thought of having to move on the day following the concert made her feel unhappy, but for her plans to go forward, she could not stay there.

….

Ben and Adam had arrived in Woodville looking for somewhere to eat and stay the night before moving on to Winslow. They entered a fine looking eating house and ordered two steaks with all that went with it. They heard other patrons talking about how the eating house should get another piano player. 'He should never have let her go. She was too good to be true. It brought a little class to this place.' The waiter brought their order and was just about to leave them alone to enjoy it when Adam asked.

"It seems everyone is talking about a piano player who used to work here?"

"That's right. Wonderful she was. Played highbrow stuff, you know Chopin and the like. Brought in a heck of a lot of customers. They just liked to listen to the music. Nothing like that ever happened in this town before and never likely to again."

"What happened to her?" Ben enquired.

"She was here just two weeks and said she had to move on. Business to conduct."

"Did she have a name" Adam asked.

"Uh yes, Mary Pearce, I think it was" the waiter said. "Anything else I can get you gents?"

"Just coffee in a little while, thanks."

Adam looked at Ben and vice versa. They were both thinking the same thing.

"If its her, then she was definitely playing a game with us." When I get my hands on her I'll..."

"Keep calm Adam" Ben said trying to keep himself calm also. "We have no proof it's the same girl. Let's eat and relax and start afresh in the morning. We should reach Winslow, what, about midday?"

"Yes, that's about right Pa. I need to hear some decent music. It might just do the trick to pacify my anger."

…..

They arrived in Winslow on the 19th. Booked into the hotel and settled into their rooms.

"I'm going over to the Church and speak with the Father there to see if he can throw some light on our quarry." Adam told his Pa from the door of his room.

"Ok son. I'll stay here and rest up a bit before dinner."

"Right Pa. See you later."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter ****11 **

Saturday the 20th had arrived. The church was packed, the congregation was having to stand at the back to squeeze everyone in. Erica was anxious for it all to go according to plan. Everyone was well rehearsed but nervous. She too was very nervous for she had not played in public for many years. But nevertheless was also looking forward to it.

"Everybody ready?" she asked.

"Yes," came the reply.

"Then let's go."

Erica led them into the church and walked over to the organ and sat down, while all the children went and stood in their places. When they were all together they took their seats. Father Phillip was the last to walk in and went straight to the pulpit.

Addressing the congregation he said, "Thank you everyone for being here today. I hope you will enjoy our musical concert which we have planned for you. There will also be a chance for you all to join in with us, but I will give you notice of that when the time comes. You will see your children performing as you've never seen them before, thanks to the finest endeavours of our organist for today Miss Erica Adams."

'Thank you,' Erica mouthed.

Two sets of eyes looked at each another. Except for the red hair both were positive they had found their runaway.

"Just one more thing before we begin. I wish to let you know what we have raised $500 for this event from the sale of the tickets, which will be going toward the restoration of this church and for which I am so very grateful, thank you. Now let us begin. Over to you Erica."

Erica gave Father Phillip a wide opened-eye look, and smiled.

"Oh excuse me. We will begin with our opening hymn for all to join in. Number 124: Praise my Soul the King of Heaven."

The music began and the congregation sang. What a joyous sound it made within the confines of this church. Then came bible readings from the children, telling the story of David the Shepherd Boy who became a King, followed by a hymn for the children to sing: Jesus Loves me, this I know…

The concert continued on as organised, including Ramone singing Schubert's Ave Maria. The congregation had never heard anything like it before. His parents were so proud of him. And then the congregation began singing: All Creatures of our God and King.

Following this, giving everyone a break from singing, Erica performed Bach's Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. Erica felt such a feeling of joy herself.

The children came back with more songs followed by the quartet of harmony singing in which Erica participated. The concert was drawing to its close with one more hymn for the congregation to join in: All people that on earth do dwell.

Father Phillip finished with a prayer of thanks.

As the congregation began to depart Erica played softly and very slowly Liszt's Liebestraum (Nocturne No 3).

It was over and Erica had to try very hard not to cry. Eventually there was nothing but childrens voices talking all at once and laughing with excitement at what they had achieved. Erica told them how wonderful they all were and congratulated them on the concert's achievments. There was a lot of hugging and kissing. Then Erica told them to calm down and make their way to their waiting parents outside and home.

When all of the children had gone, Erica went back into the church and sat at the organ. There was quiet all around her when Father Phillip came up to the organ.

"How are you feeling now it's over?" he asked, leaning over the top of the organ.

"Didn't they all just perform wonderfully. It was a great success for you Father and I'm glad I was able to help."

"You look as though you have been crying. Are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh yes. Just a little emotional. I just love church music and singing."

"Brought back memories eh?"

"Hmmmm."

"I shall be oh so sorry to see you leave us tomorrow. I'll miss you." Father Phillip said in a slightly questioning way as if to persuading her to stay.

"I made a promise to only see you through the concert and leave the next day. I can't stay any longer Father, I have a task to complete which means I have to move on. I'm sorry Father, but I know you will be able to move on yourself now that renovations can begin with the money collected here today. You must also continue to organise more events like today. Weren't the children wonderful?" Father Phillip smiled in acknowledgement.

"I've told Ramone to encourage the other boys in their singing for as you know his voice will be lost to you soon, so you need to find replacements and that's what Ramone and I have been working toward this last week. I sincerely hope that things will turn out all for the good for you Father, as I know it will."

"Can I ask you a personal question Erica?" Father Phillip asked, taking a deep nervous breath.

"I'm not Catholic if that's what you want to know."

"No its not that. I am concerned for you journeying on on your own. You seem a little cast down if I may say so."

"Well, yes I am a little. Leaving you all will be quite a blow for me. In just a short time I have come to like it here very much. And as for travelling on my own, I'll be fine. Been doing it for some time now."

Father Phillip seemed a little more nervous. "I was just wondering if you believe in God be it in any religion to see you safely on your journey?"

"I don't think I should answer that Father." Erica said with eyes cast down.

"Why not?"

Erica sat silent for a moment, then said "I don't think you'd like my answer."

"I've heard many different answers to that question and nothing would shock me now."

"Well…well… you see Father… I… We … That is … I believe there is a God but He and I parted company some time ago." Erica said while trying to hold back tears. "I thank you for your concern but I'm not one to discuss my feelings with anyone. No offence Father."

"None taken Erica. But there must have been a very good reason, for you obviously cared for him to begin with." Father Phillip looked over toward the pillar behind Erica and up again toward the ceiling of the church saying a silent prayer of forgiveness.

"There is Father, but none that I can share."

"Erica if you could relieve this burden you can tell me for it would go no further." I would like to be able to help you if you have a problem."

"It's … just … " Thoughts of her past were coming to the fore again and bringing with them tears and she tried hard to deny them their falling but she was failing in her fight. "He …He …. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. I prayed that night, the hardest I'd ever prayed. I even begged and pleaded, but He didn't hear me. He just turned his back and walked away. I realise one should never pray for things for themselves, but that night I did which is why, probably, He left me alone." Tears fell unchecked now.

"Go on my child" Father Phillip said, knowing how hard this was becoming for Erica.

"God has been punishing me ever since, even up to today."

"That can't be so."

"Oh but it is Father. I learned something that night, something which I had been told all my life but never believed. But that night I believed it."

"And what was that Erica?" Father Phillip asked wondering where on earth this was leading to.

"That I'm a bad person and always have been."

"No, no. That's not so"

"Oh yes it is Father. Believe me." Erica was trying to control herself, and then said, "Father may I ask you a question?"

"Of course my dear, anything"

"Is it …is it… possible … for someone to do bad things and not know it?"

"I don't believe it is. Everyone knows right from wrong. Whether they choose to live by the right rules is up to them." Father Phillip answered with a questioning look on his face at the extraordinary way this was going. He could feel the hurt inside Erica and wished with all his heart that he could help her through her troubles.

"Father" she said slowly and quietly, "I think you're wrong. Except for one time, just recently, I did

something very bad, only this time I knew it." The tears were now uncontrollable and her mind relived her recent performance at the Ponderosa.

"Just what on earth could you have done that would warrant God's punishment?" He reached out and took her hand in his.

"I … hurt … some people … very badly. I had no other choice."

"But God wouldn't have allowed you to do what it was that you have done."

"But is was God." she almost shouted, "He created the situation that made me act the way I had to. He planned it all, just to punish me. And he has punished me well this time."

"This time?" Father Phillip was becoming increasingly concerned for her wellbeing.

"I behaved disgustingly, told a great many lies, stole and touched things that didn't belong to me. This has been my most severest punishment to date."

"Why did you behave so?"

"I'd like to hear the answer to that one too" came a firm, dark voice from behind the pillar.

She recognised the voice at once and her tear stained eyes looked straight into Father Phillip's.

"Oh Father, you tricked me." She sobbed.

"I'm so sorry my dear, but I'm trusting it may do some good … for you. I must now make my peace with God. Forgive me Erica." Father Phillip placed his hand on her cheek, then silently left them together.


	12. Chapter 12

NB: There is spanking in this chapter. If you don't like, please don't read. I don't wish to offend. Now we start with the answers, sort of.

Chapter 12

Adam came from behind the pillar and stood in front of Erica, his face stern. Erica could not look at him. Adam took hold of her wrist and pulled her up and walked her forcibly down the aisle and out through the main door. She had to run to keep up with him. He pulled her into the hotel lobby where the clerk gave him the key and winked at Adam. He then climbed the stairs to his room. Adam unlocked and opened the door, forced Erica through it letting go of her wrist, closing and locking the door behind him.

"You shouldn't have brought me up here, my reputation! What will that clerk think?"

"Nothing. I told him when I booked in that I was looking for my errant wife and that when I found her not to be surprised at any noises coming from my room." He turned around, hands on hips and with anger in his voice he glared at Erica and sternly said, "The time has come for me to carry out the consequences for your actions".

"No" she replied.

"Lying and bad behaviour have consequences. I made a promise, and I always keep my promises, that whenever I found you I would take you over my knee and give you the tanning you deserve. The time has come to face up to your actions with those consequences you're not going to like".

Slowly he threw his hat onto a nearby chair and began unbuttoning his jacket, and it was during the silence that Erica dared look up at Adam to see him throw his jacket onto the chair and start rolling up his shirt sleeves. He stepped towards her with a determined look in his eye.

"No, no you can't do this… please, don't … oh please don't do this… you can't …" Erica said, all the while backing up.

"Oh yes I can and will"

"Adam please don't do this, please." Erica pleadingly said, taking a further backward step away from Adam's advance, but to no avail. She had now backed right the door and there was nowhere else she could go. He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her towards the bed, Erica struggled against him. Adam sat down and immediately brought her down over his left knee and held her firmly whilst pulling up her skirt and petticoats.

"What are you doing, that's not decent." Erica cried.

"Perfectly decent. You are going to feel the full extent of this punishment, which is long overdue."

And with that he started spanking Erica with hard heavy swats. She began to shout, begging him to stop.

"Oh please stop, you're hurting me. Ow….."

"It's supposed to hurt. That's the whole point." Adam continued on with the spanking.

"You have no right to do this."

"Your behaviour towards me and my family, and the many lies you have told, not to mention stealing, gives me every right to punish you as I see fit." Adam never stopped spanking her while he was speaking. "Never mind the merry dance you have given me, trying to find you. You know you deserve this."

"I… never stole… anything." She managed to say through her struggles to breath. Her bottom was hurting much more than she expected. "Ow…ow…ow."

Adam continued on with the spanking until he felt Erica give up her fight.

By the time it was over, Erica had managed to hold off her tears. She didn't think he was ever going to stop. Adam pulled her to her feet and held her arms firmly. Erica was trying very hard to control her tears in front of him and also from putting her hands back to rub her very sore backside.

"What, no tears, perhaps it wasn't hard enough." Adam said, feeling very sorry for her and for having had to punish her.

"Just because there are no tears, doesn't mean it didn't hurt. It did, and you meant it to hurt. I'm so sorry for what I did. I know I deserved the spanking and probably much more. You'll never know how sorry I am." She said in all honesty.

"All is forgiven. Come here." Adam said, taking her in his arms, waiting until she calmed down. Then when he felt the moment was right, he said sternly, "I want you to sit down here beside me and tell me all about yourself. And this time, the truth is what I expect to hear and only the truth. Any more lies and you find yourself back over my knee. Clear?"

"Yes, but I can't tell you what you'll want to know."

"We'll see. Now sit."

"I'd rather stand if you don't mind."

"No you will sit, that is part of the punishment. To feel the sting and soreness until it fades naturally. If you fail to do what I ask, the road will lead to the same place. Understand."

"Yes. I didn't realise you were a bully. But then I suppose you've had a lot of practise being the eldest."

Adam began to stand up.

"Alright, alright," Erica said, taking a step backwards. "I'll sit." She did so with a grimace as she managed to place herself on the bed. Adam sat back down facing her, holding off a smile.

"Now I want you to look at me and tell me the truth. I want to know all about you, where you came from and why the display of bad behaviour and how you became a concert pianist and singer. Now we'll start with Mary Kelly. Where is she now?"

"Sh… sh… she went home."

"And will she be coming back?"

"I don't know. Maybe if I need her. She helps me when I can't perform as she does."

"You mean outrageously?"

"Yes."

"Well from now on I want only you, yourself. We'll leave Mary Kelly back home. Let us start with your name and what colour your hair really is." Adam began.

"Just call me Mary."

"Is that your name?"

"No, but I would like you to call me Mary, please."

"No, I want to know your real name and don't make up another one. I'll know if you lie."

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you," she said hastily, adding "please don't get mad, I really have no wish to make you any more angry than you already are. I'm so sorry for what I did to you and your family. There is nothing I can tell you. It's not you, it's me. I don't believe I can tell anyone about me. So you'll just have to take me as I am. Or leave me as I am. You have found me and punished me for my actions. I think it best you return home to the Ponderosa and allow me to travel on to…..."

"No"

"No?"

"No. We came here to find you. Gave yourself away 'Erica Adams'," he mocked.

"We?"

"Oh yeah, me and Pa."

"Oh …. oh! Is he lurking in another room waiting his turn?" Mary said with dread.

"No, he has left everything in my 'hands'." Adam said with a slight smirk. "Now, lets return to you and the true colour of your hair."

Mary hesitated, but pulled off the wig and then displayed her very short hair of a dark brown colour. "I cut it short as it helped with my disguise as a boy sometimes, when looking for work, and I purchased wigs and used them for the same reason." Mary then tried to put her wig back on her head when Adam stopped her.

"No, leave it off, you'll feel more comfortable without it, I'm sure. I'm not adverse to short hair. And anyway it will grow again. You should wear the wig around Winslow while we're here though, but then you'll change to the brown one once we leave. At least then when your own hair grows, it will be the same colour and no one will ever know the difference."

"Very well. I'll do what you say." For now, she thought. "How is it that you managed to find me here, in this small town for heaven's sake?" Mary said, trying to change the subject.

"I first of all went searching for you just after you left us, but was unsuccessful. I was searching for a long time. Then it was the day the bank draft arrived, my visiting the bank and telegraph office in Virginia City, then seeing a poster of this concert and the name Erica Adams, which seemed suspicious, then Woodville and Wolf Creek. I just couldn't leave it there could I. I needed to find you and solve the mystery of you. Because there is one, isn't there?" Adam said, and then, tapping his index finger on her forehead. "I think there is someone in there afraid to come out."

Tears started welling up in her eyes, and she looked down. Adam lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"But its not worth you finding out. The whole trail will lead to a dead end." Mary then had a thought. "Father Phillip sent the posters didn't he? I think he suspected me of running away from something. Well I suppose he was right. In a way, I am. He must have sent them far and wide hoping that someone would recognise the name. And of course someone did. You."

"Yes. It certainly set me on a path to finding you."

Adam paused. Looking into Mary's eyes and taking her hand in his, he said in a very soft voice, "Alright now, I need you to trust me. Let me start the ball rolling by telling you what I know of you already. You are not Irish. You are a talented young lady and well educated. Your background story was straight out of Dickens, 'The Old Curiosity Shop' and therefore tells me of your love of reading. Oh, by the way it's Mrs Jarley not Harley."

"I knew that, just thought I'd make up another name for her."

"Maybe you like Shakespeare, poetry and art too. I hope so. Has the manners of a lady, but chose not to show them to me or my family. You quickly recovered from some small mistakes you made which I noticed. Knife and fork together, for instance," he said raising his left eyebrow and smiling. "Now, I want you to know you can trust me with anything you want to tell me and my promise still stands if you lie to me."

"That's quite a speech Adam, but it still won't work."

"So you _do_ want another trip over my knee?" he said seriously.

"No of course not. What I'm trying to say is that whatever you do to me will change nothing. Please try to understand, my life's tale must remain with me. No one but me must know about my life now."

"Mary..." he paused, "...alright, if that's what you want me to call you. Listen to me now. I know of all the things you did at the Ponderosa at night. The first night you slipped downstairs and took food and milk up to your room, you were starving weren't you?"

"Yes I was" she said with a slight smile. Then her smile dropped. "How did you know?" She asked, frowning.

"I heard you come out of your room and waited until you returned.

"You thought I was going to steal something, no doubt." A statement rather than a question.

"It crossed my mind. But I heard you return upstairs and watched through the crack in my door and saw what was in your hands."

"Then the second night I was waiting for you downstairs." Adam said.

"No, that's not so. There was no one there."

"I was there and I'll tell you what I saw." His eyes were looking at her softly, trying to tell her that he saw what she was feeling. "You did the same thing as the night before, only this time you decided to indulge your love of reading. You walked over to the bookcase and took out a book. I recognised it as 'A Tale of Two Cities', the book I had read to you earlier. You went to the low table by the fire for light and held the book lovingly before opening it to somewhere near the end, I could tell you were weeping, almost sobbing at that point. And then you read aloud, well, whispering of course. You were eventually startled by a noise upstairs and raced to put the book back in the bookcase, picked up the pilfered food and milk, returned it to the kitchen and then made your way back upstairs. I waited some thirty minutes before I went on up to my room. How accurate is that?"

Mary had been crying quietly all the while Adam spoke. "Oh Adam, I'm so sorry." I must tell you that what I said to you about your reading was not what was in my heart. Your reading was wonderful and I loved it so much." Through tears she continued. "You have a voice I could listen to for ever, and the words at the end were so beautiful, I shall never forget them. 'It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go than I have ever known'." She quoted. "How could anyone write such wonderful words; they pull at the heartstrings so. It has been a very long time since I have read anything. And please don't ask me why."

"Why?" he asked with a smile.

"I won't tell you."

"You're definitely asking for that second spanking." he teased.

"I didn't lie. You said if I lied. I'm not lying to you, just not telling you, that's all."

"Well, you are talking and I guess that's a good sign. Now I will tell you something else. When we first met we saw something in each others eyes did we not? I know you intrigued me and I wanted to know more about you, and when Mary Kelly came into being I felt something was not right, and now of course I know you were not Mary Kelly, but a sophisticated young lady, whom I am falling in love with."

"No-no-no-no-no. Don't say that, I don't want you to fall in love with me. You must stop right now. For I don't have feeling for you."

"Now I know that is a lie. I did not mistake the look in your eyes when first we met."

Mary made a backward move on the bed, thinking Adam would carry out his threat this time and winced.

"You must go back home now and find yourself a worthy lady who will love you and look after you, work beside you and give you a fine family. It's what you deserve. I cannot give you these things."

Adam just looked at her and said nothing which induced a very long silence. Adam waited and waited.

"Alright, alright. I may have feelings for you, but they will come to naught. But I will remember you always with deep affection. I cannot get involved with you or anyone.

"All this because of your background isn't it? Don't you know when someone is in love, really in love, one's background is not of importance." Adam was trying to do his utmost to get Mary to believe him.

"Oh but it is, especially mine. Please, no more questions. I can't bear to hurt you further. I would rather you think of me as a liar and cheat than anything else. For that is exactly what I am." Mary said.

"Well I don't give up that easily. I feel you have had a hard life, but that is going to change. But you need to tell someone, _me_, what your life has been all about, you've held things in too long and it will relieve you of some of your sadness and perhaps God will stop punishing you."

"Oh, He'll never do that."

"Alright, but whether God is punishing you, or not, you will feel a whole lot better by telling me

about your problems. Don't hold them in any more. That's what I'm here for." He took hold of both her upper arms and gently pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly on her mouth.

Adam's action brought her tears back to life. As they came apart, Mary looked into his eyes and saw the look she recognised. There again, that moment passed between them, just as from the first. Maybe he is right. But to tell of my past, Mary thought. Mary was beginning to think that if she were to tell him of her life, he would understand her feelings and actions. But s**he didn't know if she could do it. **

"I need a lttle time before I can decide on what to do. So I'll go back to my room now and think about .…"

"No" Adam stated. We're staying here in this room. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"I can't stay in here all night." Mary said, blushing.

"Don't you remember what I said to you about being my errant wife. Well that's what you are tonight, so you will remain here with me in this room."

"But Father Phillip knows I am not and will be expecting me back"

"No he's not. He and I had a long chat about you earlier, this morning, before the concert. We agreed on certain things, one of them being you will remain with me. You need not be concerned for your honour as I promise nothing will happen here except sleep. You _**inside **_the sheets__and me _**on top**_ of them. You're not going anywhere my girl. I'm not going to lose you again. Clear."

"But…but…"

"No buts. The day has passed quickly and time has caught up with us, so we will sleep now. I'm sure you've had an exhausting day. I know I have. I will see Pa in the morning and suggest he return home and we will follow in a few days time, giving us time together to resolve your problems," Adam said, as he got up from the bed and bent down and took Mary's shoes off. "There, no more talk tonight. Sleep now. We'll take this nice and slow. I don't want you to feel afraid of me. I believe I love you and want to help you back into a normal life, with me. What say you?"

Mary could say nothing as Adam gently raised Mary off the bed and pulled down the covers and sat her back down. Mary grimaced again from the pain in her bottom and Adam smiled knowlingly.

"That might wear off in a day or two. Now lie down." She did so as Adam pulled up her feet and placed them in the bed, pulling the covers back down over Mary. He then walked around the bed, sat on the edge and took off his boots, then laid himself down on the top of the bed.

"There now, get some rest. We'll resume our conversation after breakfast," Adam said gently. He felt another kiss at this stage might frighten her into thinking he wanted more. So he just said, "Goodnight Mary, sleep well."

"Goodnight" Mary replied, turning on her side with her back facing Adam, holding in the tears she felt were threatening to come.


	13. Chapter 13

NB: Just a short chapter, before the biggy.

Chapter 13

When Mary woke and saw Adam at the basin swilling his face, following a shave.

"Good morning," Adam said. "I hope you slept well. I did."

Mary was too scared about what the day would bring to answer him. She had to find a means of escaping him. But how.

"I said good morning" Adam repeated.

"Morning, but there is nothing good about it" came the reply.

"I see. Are you not a morning person, or is this how the day is going to progress? Adam enquired.

Silence.

"I expect an answer. Or do we have to start the day with unpleasantness?

"No" Mary answered quickly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just I don't know how I'm going to survive this day."

"First we will go down and meet Pa for breakfast….."

"No…. not your father! After last night what will he think?

"For the time being I'm not concerned with what my father will think. I will explain to him in time." Adam replied with a slight smile. "But for now we will go down for breakfast. You may want to clean your face before we do though."

Ben was already sitting at a table having already eaten his breakfast and was on his last cup of coffee when the two arrived. He rose and offered a chair for Mary to sit. Sit she did, very carefully, as she was still sore from the previous night's 'consequences.' Ben noticed but said nothing.

"Morning Pa. I hope you slept well?" Adam asked of his father.

"Just fine, thank you" he replied. "We should leave soon after breakfast, it's a long journey home." Ben said, glancing over at Mary, who was looking down at her cutlery on the table.

"Right Pa. But Mary and I will be staying on for a few more days, just to relax, and then we'll be travelling back to the Ponderosa.

Mary glanced up at Adam. His statement was not what she wanted to hear_. _I'm not going back, she thought to herself, and get out of this I will, but how, how. Adam seems so determined. How can I fight him.

"Ben rose, taking a final sip of coffee, saying "I might as well start the journey back home then, in that case. I hope to see you both within a few days." And with that he left them to their breakfasts.

"I'll just see Pa off and be right back" Adam said and then stopped and turned around looking at Mary, "and don't you move from this table or you'll be sorry. Understand?"

"I won't" she promised.

While Adam was gone she had a serious talk to herself while drinking some coffee for courage, which the waitress had brought a little while before. 'Brandy would have been better.' Mary had thought it would have been an appropriate moment to leave, but felt so guilty at even thinking that. After all, Adam did deserve some sort of explanation. And he was trying so hard to make her feel warm and safe. 'I really don't want to hurt this man any more. Maybe if I did tell him the truth he will want nothing more to do with me. I need not tell him everything, just bits that will sound convincing. Truth bits that is. Yes, that's what I'll do. How sorry I will be to see him go home, without me. But I shall keep him in my heart always.'

Adam returned after seeing his father off and ordered their breakfasts. "I'm starved, how about you?" he asked.

"Yes, I could do with a little something too." Mary replied. 'To calm my nerves' she said to herself.

They ate in silence, Adam knowing how nervous Mary was about today's agenda. They finished their food and walked out, Adam taking Mary's arm to guide her.


	14. Chapter 14

NB: The truth will out. Or at least some of it. It's what you've been waiting for, right? There is descriptive abuse in the following chapters. Thank you all for your comments, I'm so flattered by them all. Thank you so much. I thought as a thank you I'd post another chapter.

Chapter 14

They walked out and up the hill toward the open space where Adam and Father Philip had watched her carrying out her ritual.. He had with him some food and wine which he had ordered when they were having breakfast.

"I need you to trust me, as all I want to do is bring you back to a life of happiness, which I suspect was not the case before. Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I trust you. I've known that from the first."

"Well then, I want to know what the scattering of petals was about. I watched you do this the first day I saw you, and again with Father Phillip yesterday." Adam questioned, as they walked her to a spot that was pleasant with a view of Winslow below them.

"Oh that is just something I do when I'm down. It brings me comfort to be in a place that is quiet and beautiful. It will take some time to get to that as I need to start at the beginning. It's a long story." Mary voiced, wondering how on earth she was to tell him about her life, leaving out what she didn't want him to know.

"We have as long as it takes, Mary. I promise you I will understand. I already told you your past will not matter to me" Adam said reassuringly, "but I feel you need to tell it to enable you move on with your life as you should."

Adam sat down on the grass and held his hand out for Mary to join him. She did, but not without a grimace. She decided to turn onto her side, facing Adam. He smiled.

"I'll try. To begin with I have to ask you to make me a promise."

"A promise, what kind of promise?" asked Adam, suspiciously.

"Oh nothing very much. I need you to promise me that whatever I tell you will go no further. That you won't tell another living soul."

"Yes, I can promise you that."

"Not even to your family. Promise?" she asked, swallowing.

"Not even to my family. I promise." Repeated Adam.

"And please try to not interrupt me, if you do I won't be able to finish my story."

Adam and Mary looked each other in the eye, and she could see the love he held there. He nodded and smiled, putting her at her ease.

"Alright, first I must tell you something I know you will not believe, but it is the truth you will be hearing. I don't have a name and I don't know how old I am."

"But…" Adam started. Mary gave him a look. "Please, don't interrupt me."

"Sorry" he said.

Mary took a deep breath, and taking her time, began. "Alright. I was born on a ranch, oh not one like yours, but a sheep ranch. No one ever called me by name, only 'you there', 'hey you', 'hey kid', things like that, but never a name, even my mother only called me 'daughter'. Birthdays were something else, if you've never heard of them or had one, you never miss it. It was something I never thought about until just recently. By the time I was able to talk and understand, my father took me to the foreman and told him to teach me all there was to know about sheep. And I mean from the _very_ beginning to the _very_ end. I was expected to be able to do everything. The worst part of all, of course, was the…slaughtering… I won't go into details, but I can tell you that it caused me to cry a lot. The screaming was the worst."

"Mary, I have to interrupt, you're going to need some wine to keep going." While Adam was pouring the wine he asked, "about how old do you think you were at that time?"

"I don't really know the time it began, but later I think I remember that I had lost my two front teeth." she smiled. "So that would make me around six or seven maybe."

Adam handed her the wine and she took a long sip. "Not too much at once" he said, "or it will go to your head."

"Ok." Mary took another deep breath. Adam could see how much this was hurting her but felt at the end she would feel much better.

After swallowing some wine, Mary went on. "One day the foreman sent me to the ranch house to fetch something and I went in through the back door which led to the kitchen. I must have been quiet as my mother didn't notice I was there. She was at the stove with her back to me. When she turned around and saw me she almost jumped out of her skin and I started to cry because I could see she had lost an eye, or at least I assumed she had. To a child that is what it looked like. Her face in fact was so swollen over and under her left eye that it had covered her eye completely and of course it was black and blue. I was crying hard while asking her what had happened to her face. She told me she was having trouble with her vision and that she had walked into a door. And I believed her, why wouldn't I, she was my mother and mothers don't lie. I offered to make sure all the doors were kept open in future so that it wouldn't happen again. A little time after that my mother was dead. I guess he hit her once too often and too hard. She was gone…and…and…I took her place."

Mary's eyes welled up with tears. Adam moved closer to her and put his arms around her, comforting her, but saying nothing, hoping she would feel his love. And she did. He was going to help her through this. She took another sip of wine.

"Go on" Adam gently whispered.

"From that time on my father kept telling me that I was bad and needed to be punished for my misdeeds. But I never knew what I had done, but it didn't seem to matter to him, he just went ahead and punished me. At first he would spank me, and it must have hurt as I do remember crying a lot. And this happened most days. But a time came when I was a little older and bolder. I shouted at him, wanting to know why he kept punishing me for things I didn't know I had done."

"Is that why you asked Father Philip if it was possible for someone to do bad things and not know what they had done?" Adam quietly asked.

"Yes. But that day I went too far in my respect of him, in his eyes, not that I ever respected him of course, and cussed at him. He caught hold of me by the collar and marched me out into the back yard. Just like you did last night. He threw me down over the tree stump on which I chopped the wood. And he told me not to move. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him take his belt off and he used that on me that day. I know I screamed and cried something dreadful. His punishments had never hurt that much before. When he was done, he told me that from now on that is what I could expect for misbehaviour. Also he told me he didn't expect me to cry or scream, because if I did he would give me a double dose."

"Is that why there were no tears last night?" Adam asked.

"Yes, I suppose so. I had to learn to hold out on the crying and screaming. But as you can imagine it didn't always happen and I got the promised double doses. But eventually I managed but only with quiet tears."

Mary took another sip of wine and downed what was left in her glass. And held out her glass for more.

"I don't think you should. You're not used to wine? Otherwise you are going to have trouble later on today?" Adam said smiling.

"If I don't, I won't be able to go on."

"Very well, but only one more glass." He said pouring out another round, but purposely not completely filling her glass. "Perhaps you should have a little something to eat as well. It might help you to not get a bad head. Anyway it's getting on for lunchtime in any case."

"Ok. I could do with a rest, if that's alright with you."

"Yes, that fine."

Adam brought out a couple of chicken legs and some bread and cheese. Mary ate sparingly, but felt better once she had eaten, but her eyes felt very heavy and before Adam knew it she had fallen asleep, with her head in his lap. He looked down at her and realised more and more how much he wanted to help in her path to recovery and into a normal life. He knew that he loved her and wanted to care for her for the rest of his life. He needed her too, someone to talk seriously with and argue with, knowing that there must be a bit of 'Mary Kelly' in there somewhere. Life would be interesting to say the least. But Adam knew he had to move slowly, not wanting to frighten her, wanting her to know he cared.

An hour had gone by when Mary woke from her nap.

"Why did you let me sleep so long, Adam?" Mary said as she tried to sit up. There was no reply. She could see that Adam too had fallen asleep, sitting up? How can anyone fall asleep sitting up she thought.

"Adam, Adam" She quietly said, and shook his shoulder a little.

"Oh… hi…I must have dropped off too," he said, yawning and stretching his arms.

"Adam do you mind if we stop for today. You did say we might be here for a few days, right? But I do feel ashamed of having to be in the same room with you again. Could we make other arrangements?" Mary asked.

"No," he said a little sternly, "while we're here everyone believes you are my wife, only Father Philip knows the truth and he has given me his trust to do the right thing and I will." Then in an encouraging voice, "But yes, we can stop for now and just enjoy the day. D'you feel up to a little walk?" he suggested.

"Yes, fine. But not too far." She managed to get up on shaky feet. "You were right, my head does feel odd and right again, I'm not used to drinking wine or anything else for that matter."

They cleared up the remains of the food and wine and leaving the basket behind, headed on up the hill and eventually sat and looked at the scenery around them.

"The Ponderosa is so much more beautiful than this, with the lake, as well as…"

"…as the Ponderosa pines and their wonderful smell. I did take it all in when you took me to your home, although I pretended not to care."

They made general talk about all sorts of things, especially of the books that she loved. There were silent moments as well, but this did not seem to worry either of them.

"I must tell you how wonderful the concert was and how well you played and sang." Adam said in admiration of her. "I think the children adored you too. You must have worked very hard to accomplish the standard of singing we enjoyed."

"Thank you Adam. Yes, the children were marvellous and I think enjoyed their singing."

Finally as the day began to turn to evening they began to make their way back down to the picnic site, picked up the basket and headed back towards Winslow town and the hotel, and Mary once again tried to talk Adam into having separate rooms, but to no avail. They ate dinner and eventually retired to their room, just as the night before.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 **

The following day was again fine and Adam suggested a buggy ride to another part of the countryside. Mary agreed. They found themselves by a little pond, again with a lunch basket, but no wine. Adam thought it best.

"Will you carry on with your story?" Adam asked.

"Remember your promise still applies…."

"Yes of course."

"This is a very difficult part of my life and telling it to you will be very hard. But I will do my best. You've made me trust you. And again please don't interrupt me or I'll never get through it."

"I promise."

But this time she had sat with her back to Adam so as not to be able to see his eyes. He tried putting his arms around her, but she gently pushed them off.

"Please don't. I can't tell this part with your arms around me."

"Alright." He acquiesced.

"It was my fourteenth birthday." She turned and put her fingers up to Adam's mouth, just as he was about to speak, and shook her head. "I know I told you I didn't know how old I was, but please be patient." She turned back again. "It was my fourteenth birthday and I was in my room, worrying about what he was up to. He came into the room eventually, but with a book of sorts and told me to study it from cover to cover. He said he would leave me there for two days and then return and test me on it. If I failed I could expect a new punishment. But if I passed he would give me a present. Needless to say I failed the test."

"What was the book about?" Adam asked curiously.

"You are not to interrupt."

"I need to know all of your experiences, how else can I help you?"

"I can't tell you what you want to know and nothing you do to me will make me."

"Please Mary, you must trust me, please" he said with great emotion. "How can I help you if I don't know all that happened."

Mary had tears in her eyes once again and with resignation went on with her story. "It was a book with… stories in it…, pictures and diagrams….about….about….fornication." She paused, trying to keep control. "At that time I didn't understand the half of it. He asked me questions, but I was unable to answer them, and so I failed the test. He then ordered me to take off all my clothes and lie face down on the bed. I knew I had to carry out his order or things would only get worse for me. So I began undressing and as I did so I could see he had a new belt with studs on it. He used this on me and badly cut me. I know by back was bleeding as I could feel blood running down my sides and onto the bed."

Adam was seething at what this evil man had done, wanting very much to kill him, whilst trying once again to put his arms around Mary. But Mary, once again, stopped him.

Mary took a long hard breath. And then with determination she didn't know she had, she went on. "When he had finished he started walking towards the door, but stopped and turned and said that as I had taken my punishment so well, he would reward me with his gift. After all he said, it was my fourteenth birthday. He turned me over onto my back, stared down at me with lust in his eyes. He came towards me and began touching me and eventually raped me. I was hurting so much from the beating that I wasn't sure what was happening to me, but when he left me I found I was in so much pain, everywhere. That is when I prayed to God. I asked him to take me to Him. I wanted to die. I really thought I would die, but as you can see, that didn't happen. And God has been punishing me ever since for asking Him to let me die, at least my father did on His behalf. I also realised at that time that I really was a bad person. I had now become a whore."

Mary had told this part of the story as if she was a statue, just delivering a speech and staring into space, her face wet with her tears.

"No, Mary. That is not so."

"Yes, Adam. That was my life from then on."

"Oh my love, how you have suffered. How can anyone commit such crimes on another human being." Adam moved closer to Mary, putting his arms around her, holding her close to him, never wanting to let her go. This time she did not resist. They stayed quietly like that for some time.

"How do you feel, now that you have told me, a little better I hope."

"A little" Mary said, wiping her tears away which had flowed copiously during the telling of her story.

"Do you know at what time of the year this happened?" Adam asked.

"I don't know, except that the snows had melted and the sun was warmer."

"Then it must have been May or June. We can give you a birth date of say 1st June. How would that be?" Adam suggested.

"That sounds grand. Thank you Adam."

"Now how about you tell me how your music and education came about, huh."

"Well, after my mother died we moved. Where his money came from I often wondered but never knew. He sold the ranch and everything that went with it and we travelled to New York where he bought a large house. He engaged a music tutor, a maestro, a wonderful man whom I grew to love. He taught me how to play and sing, understand music and gave me an appreciation and love of same. My education was similar. Over the years I had three tutors, the last one being a professor who taught me all about the classics and poetry and gave me many books to read, all of which I loved. I also began to get worse grades on purpose. I didn't want him to know I loved learning as I just knew he would put a stop to it if he did."

"_How_ I needed my music and education. They gave me an escape to another world where I dreamed I lived. I became a character in a novel, or I became a bystander in a story I was reading, pretending I was somehow part of the plot. When I played I imagined I was in a magnificent room in a palace in Vienna. All this was childish I know, but I needed it so much.

"I understand completely." Adam said, struggling with his feelings for Mary.

"He wanted to become a man of standing and for that he needed to entertain all the right sort of people at the house. I was used to entertain them, either playing or singing or reciting something. Once I had finished my performance, I always had to leave the room. He never introduced me to anyone. What he said of me I can only imagine. And in amongst all this the abuse continued."

"Did you never try and get away?" Adam enquired gently.

"Once and only once. I didn't get very far. His 'men' found me and brought me back. It took me three months to recover from my punishment. Also at that time he shaved my head, knowing I would not be going outside again without hair."

"So you didn't cut it yourself, like you said?"

"No. I'm sorry, I lied to you, but there was no way I could tell you the truth at that time, like now. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I forgive _you_ everything. It's your father I don't forgive." He said as he strengthened his hold on her tenderly.

"He organised a bonnet for me to wear, with lots of lace sewn around the edges so as to hide the fact that I had no hair, when we went to church. This was the only place outside of the house I ever went. I played the organ there and cherished each moment. I never tried to run away again after that." Mary's tears flowed again, as she remembered those moments.

After a short silence Adam asked Mary to go on with her story.

"Time went on in the usual way. Hardly usual I suppose. 'Til one day I saw him building a fire in the garden. He stormed into the house and took all my books and papers and threw them on the fire. Then he took a sledge hammer to the piano destroying it completely. This he took and added to the flames until there was nothing left. I wondered what he had found out, if anything. The tutors were all fired. My world ended and I became a non-entity. And continued to survive each day as it came. If only I could have seen that coming, I might have been able to save a book or two and hide them away."

"Oh, Mary, how I wish I could have saved you from all that."

"I know you would have, had you been there."

"Let's just remain silent for a little while now. You must be exhausted. Try and have a little nap. It will do you the world of good."

"I will try, but only if you will keep on holding me. I feel so secure in your arms, Adam."

"Good, that's just what I want you to feel" he said, kissing the top of her head.

Mary _was_ exhausted and soon fell asleep, leaving Adam to ponder over all that she had related to him. They stayed like that for some time until Mary woke up still with Adam's arms wrapped around her.

"Hello" he said. "I think you should eat a little something now. I know you probably don't feel like eating but you should have a little which will help and no wine today. I have brought just water" he said with a smile.

"That will be fine, just fine and thank you for your understanding of my plight, for plight it is. I've

told you everything about me and now you must let me go." Mary said, as she struggled to get out of Adam's arms.

"No so fast. First of all I am not going to let you go anywhere without me ever again and secondly I sense another lie.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't believe you have told me the whole truth." He said, arching his left eyebrow.

"Adam, there must be something in your life that you are not proud of and have never told a living soul, isn't there?"

"Probably, but it's not me we're talking about right now is it?" But he didn't want to push her any more.

There was silence from Mary as she looked into Adam's eyes and could see how much he felt her pain. They stayed like that for most of the afternoon and time had hurried by without each of them noticing. The sun had begun to sink lower in the sky.

"Maybe we should leave it at that for today. I think we should go back now and prepare for dinner, what say you?"

"Yes please," Mary replied.

They returned to the hotel and geared themselves for an evening dinner. Adam wanted to take her somewhere special, if there was such a place in Winslow. He asked the hotel clerk of the best place in town to eat and was told of a place.

"All sorted out then, with the wife?" the clerk questioned.

"Yes, thank you." Adam smiled and then made his way back up to the room.

Mary was lying on the bed thinking over all that she had told Adam, with tears in her eyes when Adam walked back in.

"I've found a place for us to eat." Adam announced. "So get yourself ready and no more tears. The worst is now over, having told me of your life's experiences. All of which does not matter one iota to me, except for the pain and hurt you have suffered through the years. So from this moment on we will start a new life of our own, one in which I can cherish you for ever."

"Oh Adam, how can you be so understanding, and still love me as you say you do?"

I love you and want you with me always." Adam breathed deeply. "Now are you ready to dine out with me?"

"Yes, thank you for caring so much. I know I don't deserve you, but will do as you say for now." Mary said, with a twinkle in her eye.

Adam's eyebrow went up, but smiled. "For now?"

They had a leisurely dinner and talked of many things. Nothing was said of that day's revelation.

But the following morning Mary was doubting herself again and Adam was beginning to get annoyed with her.

"I don't deserve your love. I'm not worthy of any man." Mary cried.

"Don't say such things, for you are, I know you are."

"I will take your love with me wherever I go."

Adam took hold of her upper arms and gave her a shake. "You are not going anywhere without me ever again. So get that thought right out of your mind."

"How can you really love me Adam?"

"Because you are you," Adam said, holding up his finger and stopping Mary from interrupting, "and for being of similar mind, loving literature, poetry and music that we can share together and for giving me the opportunity of planning the new school house and church extension in Virginia City. And why did you do this for me, because you love me too. Is that not so? Do you love me as I love you?" Adam gently asked.

Mary hesitated for what seemed an eternity, but when she gazed up into Adam's eyes she knew that she did with her whole being.

"Yes, Adam I do, more than you'll ever know."

"Then let's go home."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The next day, Adam announced they should begin the journey back to the Ponderosa and take their time doing it, so that they could get to know one another's true minds. It made Mary anxious to think of returning to the Ponderosa, wondering what his father and brothers would be thinking of her, especially since Adam had promised not to reveal her story to them.

"I know what you're thinking." Adam expressed. "How are we to explain your behaviour to my family when we get back. Right?"

"Yes. Can you read my thoughts Adam?"

"I can well understand your anxiety at returning, but we will talk all this out during our journey home."

"A 'home' is something I'd only dreamed about. Thank you for that. I'm just so anxious and thrilled at the same time. So much has happened to me since I first met you, Adam. And look what you've done to me. I can't believe how differently I feel right at this moment." Mary said smiling.

"That's good, Mary. And keep those smiles coming. I love to see you smile. Now, let's have some breakfast, pack up and head home. I bought a small buggy which is waiting for us outside and Sport, my horse, is tied to the back also patiently waiting."

They spoke with Father Phillip before they left and thanked him for having such an understanding heart. He said he would pray for their happiness together. And they wished him well in the restoration of the church.

Their journey homeward was just wonderful for Mary, who was now learning things about Adam and his dreams. How he wants to build a home of his own on a certain spot of Ponderosa land. Unbeknown to Mary, Adam already had the place in mind.

Mary had begun to relax a little during the journey back to the Ponderosa, but as the buggy approached the yard her nervousness flared up again. Adam put his arm around her letting her know she was not alone and that they would come through this with flying colours.

Ben, Joe and Hoss emerged through the front door when they heard the buggy approaching. Adam got down and walked around to the other side to help Mary down. Joe quickly took hold of the horse's bridle and said he would look after the horse and buggy. Hoss offered to look after Sport. That left Ben, who suggested they went inside and rest up.

"Perhaps Mary would like to rest in her room, after such a long journey." Ben suggested. "Dinner won't be ready for another couple of hours."

"Yes, thank you Mr. Cartwright, I think I will." Then hesitently Mary asked, "Is it the same room I had before?"

"Yes Mary, it is."

"Thank you." And with that Mary made her escape.

Adam held up his hand to forestall his father. "Now Pa, before you start asking questions, let me tell you, something happened between Mary and myself before she left us, although she masked her feeling by her behaviour. She has since told me her entire story, but don't ask me to tell you it as I promised her that her past history stays between her and me. I will tell you only this, that her past was horrendous and I plan to give Mary a life of fulfilment to make up for it, if she'll let me."

"If she'll let you?" Ben said, looking questioningly at Adam.

"Yes, I've yet to convince her that her past is not important to me.

"Joe and Hoss are bound to want some answers."

"Yes, I'm sure. But I'm leaving it in your hands to make them understand that questions are out." Adam sat in the blue chair. "I know she's the one for me Pa. She is highly intelligent, loves books, music and art. And I believe there is a little of Mary Kelly in her. So all in all I see a great future for us and that beautiful strip of land you gave me would make a wonderful spot on which to make a home. We would only be a short distance away."

"All this planning seems very sudden, son. Let's get Mary settled in first and give her some time to adjust before you consider anything more serious." Ben was concerned that Adam was rushing into things. He felt he was making a mistake. But of course he had no idea of Mary's past or of her true self.

"Pa, it's not like we're getting married tomorrow. I know Mary will need time. I know that only too well, believe me."

"Okay, let's leave it at that for now. Go and rest up before dinner. It's been a long day for you too."

"Thanks Pa." Adam stood and made his way upstairs. He went along to the guest room and opened the door. He found Mary asleep. He lovingly looked down on her, kissed her forehead and left her for his own room to wash and lie down.

…

Mary came down the stairs, having washed and tidied herself, refreshed from her nap. Adam walked over to her and took her arm through his and introduced her to his father and brothers as if it was the first time they had met.

"Well" said Ben, "Let's make our way over to the table, dinner is ready."

They all sat down at the table, Mary on Adam's left with him at the top in his usual seat facing his father. Ben said grace and everyone began to dish up their plates, except Mary.

"I feel I ought to say something to you all about my previous visit here."

"There's no need." Adam said, touching her hand.

"Oh, but there is. Some sort of explanation is definitely required and I plan to give it." Mary said looking at each of the other three faces looking at her.

I know you'll find it hard to forgive me for my behaviour and if you feel the need to punish me for it, then I'll understand and accept whatever you feel is right and proper."

"I think Adam has dealt with that issue," Ben said with a slight smile.

"True, but it wasn't only Adam that I wronged was it." Mary said, her heart beating fast.

"You're not Irish then, I take it?" Joe asked, staring at her.

"Joe!" Hoss admonished. "We don't need to know anything about before. Let's just start fresh, like we only just met Mary."

"That's very kind of you Hoss." Mary said, thanking him.

"Can we eat now, please." Ben brook into the conversation. "Dinner is getting cold and you know what Hop Sing will say if he sees us talking so much and not eating."

"That's right Pa," Adam confirmed. "Now, have some roast pork." Adam said holding out the plate for Mary to take some. "And then help yourself to the vegetables. We can talk more comfortably in the big room once we've finished dinner."

When dinner was finished they all took themselves to the comfortable seats around the fireplace and Hop Sing brought in a tray of cups and saucers, and then returned with the big coffee pot, cream and sugar.

Mary began again, once the coffee was poured and everyone had one. "I want to make it up to everyone. I can do many chores, including barn chores, grooming horses, repairing horse shoes and branding, though I can't obviously hold a steer down. I can also do all house chores, chicken coup, collecting eggs…maybe this will help in my apologies to Hop Sing."

"Hold on Mary," Hoss interrupted. We don't expect you to be doing any such thing. You are here now as our guest."

"Hoss is right." Said Ben. But maybe you could help Hop Sing a little. He can always use it."

"Very well, whatever you want me to do, I'll do." Still very nervous, she drank her coffee straight down.

Adam watched and listened to Mary's every word and was pleased with the way she was conducting herself.

Eventually, Mary decided it was time to retire. "I hope you won't mind, but I'm rather tired and would like to retire, if that's alright with you."

"Of course." Ben responded. "It has been a long day and I'm sure we'll all be doing the same very shortly."

"Goodnight then, and thank you all." Mary said, rising from her seat. All four Cartwright's rose up from their seats.

"Oh no, please stay seated, I've not deserved that courtesy. Maybe in time. But thank you all the same." And with that Mary left them and walked up the stairs and along the corridor to her room. Never had she taken such a long walk!

…..

"You haven't said much Adam." Joe said, questioningly looking at Adam.

"There was no need for me to say anything. Mary needed to say what she did and I was so pleased with her for considering you all with courtesy. It will be hard for her to adjust, I'm sure, but I'm here to help her with that. I think I'll just go on up and see that she's alright, and then go off to bed myself. Goodnight, one and all."

"Goodnight Adam" came the reply from Ben, Hoss and Joe, collectively.

…..

Adam knocked on Mary's door. "Come in Adam."

"How d'you know it was me?"

"I didn't think any of the others would be knocking at my door."

Walking into the room and looking at Mary, Adam could see she had been crying and came over to her, sat next to her and pulled her to him and held her tight.

"There's no need for tears any more. You're safe here with me and I hope, in time, that you will feel you belong here with us, with me. I'm not going to rush you into anything." He said handing her his handkerchief.

"Thank you Adam," she said wiping her eyes.

"Now then, I want you to go to sleep and not worry about anything and tomorrow I'll start showing you around the Ponderosa, after our chores are completed, that is." Adam said smiling and winking at Mary. "Do you need anything?"

"No thank you, everything I need is right here. Hop Sing prepared this room very well."

"Goodnight then, Mary and sleep well." Adam said, kissing Mary lightly on the lips, not wanting to frighten her by anything more passionate. He stood and made his way to the door. "I love you, just remember that." He closed the door behind him.

Mary was left in a daze.


	17. Chapter 17

NB: Once again I thank all my followers for your support and reviews. It has encouraged me to think about other stories, but please remember I'm not a writer, just someone playing at it. We're getting nearer and nearer to the end.

Chapter 17

The following day Mary did her very best to blend in with family routine. She helped Hop Sing throughout the day who was pleased with all her efforts. By the end of the day and following evening dinner with the family, she could hardly keep her eyes open and announced she would like to retire. All four Cartwrights stood up as she rose to go upstairs. She smiled and thanked them. Mary would never get used to such courtesy.

She found that sleep eluded her and reached for the book she had borrowed from downstairs, relaxed on her bed, when a knock came on her door.

"May I come in?" Ben asked.

"Of course, please come in. I couldn't sleep, so was just trying a little reading to see if it would help."

Ben came into the room and asked, "May I sit and talk to you? I saw the light under the door, so assumed you were not sleeping."

"Yes, of course. I know what you are thinking and I'll try to put you at your ease."

Ben sat in the bedside chair. "Adam tells me that he is in love with you and you with him and that he wants to marry you. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Mr Cartwright, it is, but don't worry, it won't happen. I would never wish to embarrass you or your family, by remaining here. Oh I know Adam thinks it will be so, but I have a plan, if you will hear me out, which should put your mind completely at rest."

"I see, and what do you have in mind."

"Well, we need a little conspiracy to make this work. Would you help me with that?" Mary asked.

"I'm not sure about this, I like things out in the open."

"You would like me to leave, I know, and that is my wish also. I need a ruse to help me on my way.

But I need your help to carry it out, as without it, Adam would never let me leave."

"I thought you loved Adam."

"I do, that is why I must leave. Now, will you help me or no?"

"Tell me your plan and I make my decision then." Ben said, uneasily.

"Alright. I simply need you to send Adam on a two to three day journey to carry out some business deal or other. This will give me time to be away and disappear for ever. This time I will make sure he will not be able to find me."

"But I fear Adam will not rest until he has searched and found you again."

"Then you must persuade him that it will be useless to try. Tell him that I don't love him and that he must forget me."

"Then, my dear," Ben said quietly, "I truly believe that you love Adam."

"Yes, I do. And I'm still ashamed. You see I haven't told Adam quite everything and I also have lied to him. Something which I know he will get angry about. He made me a promise if I ever lied to him again."

"And I can imagine what that promise is." Ben said, with a grin.

Adam had just come to the edge of the door frame and heard that last sentence uttered by Mary, and he felt his blood boil. It's the flowers, he thought. He walked into the room and faced Mary and his father, asking him if he could leave them alone in private.

"Of course, son." Ben said and quietly left the room, closing the door, thinking about all that Mary had said. He would have a lot to think over. He wanted to do what was right.

"It's the flowers isn't it? Please tell me the truth about the flowers." He asked again, quietly, knowing this must be a very hard part to convey. "About the strewing of the flowers."

"Oh Adam, I'm so sorry, but I just can't tell you." Mary sighed and tears began to well up in her eyes.

"You've no choice. We made a pact and you must stick to it. Now tell me the truth about the flowers."

Mary inhaled and held her silence while she fortified her strength to build up the courage she needed to tell him. Then she spoke very slowly. "During those awful years I conceived three babies, but I don't know what I had. Whether boys or girls." The tears began and Adam sat down behind her on the bed, took hold of her and held her against his body. She couldn't fight him any longer.

"Try to go on Mary, sweetheart. I know this is very hard for you."

Clasping his hands that held her, trying desperately to gain courage from his strength, she went on. "He was there when I gave birth. Each of them cried heartily, but he carried them away, out through the door, and once outside the door, the crying stopped." Mary stopped, building up her courage. "I believe he killed them. What can you do with tiny bodies except bury them. I always assumed he buried them in the garden."

Mary tried to wipe her tears away which just didn't stop. Adam reached for his handkerchief and wiped them away but each time more appeared. He held her closer, if that were possible.

"I gave each of them two names, a boy's name and a girl's name. Aaron/Rachel, David/Ruth and Peter/Mary. Whenever my father went into the city on business I knew he would be gone for at least three hours and I used that time to go into the garden and dehead flowers, plucking the petals off and placing them in a basket. Then I would walk around the garden and scatter the petals everywhere, hoping that they would land amongst the little graves, wherever they were. It was my fantasy that they would learn I did this out of love for them, even though I never knew them. And now whenever I find myself in a lovely, peaceful spot totally alone with wild flowers around me to pick, I continue the ritual so that they will know I'll never forget them. That's what I was doing when you first saw me, although I was completely unaware that you were there."

"That is a wonderful thing to do Mary. Thank you for telling me. I know how difficult it was for you." Adam voiced quietly."

"I'm so sorry for lying to you before, but at that time I just couldn't tell you."

"I understand." Adam said, hugging her close to him. "Now I want you to rest and go to sleep, tomorrow will be a new day."

"Thank you Adam for being so understanding. I will try to sleep now."

"Good. So for now, goodnight, my love. I'll see you in the morning.

"Goodnight Adam." Adam settled Mary down in the bed and pulled the sheet and blanket up over her, kissed her gently on the lips and left.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Having taken a few days just to relax, one morning Adam and Mary were having coffee on the verandah. They were admiring the early morning sunshine, but with just a hint of autumn in the air. It felt so fresh.

"Adam, may I tell you something. I know you'll probably laugh but I would like to give myself a name."

"As long as it's not Mary. That name will bring back memories that will haunt me." He said with a smile on his face. Mary smiled too, knowing he was teasing her.

Alright, I would like the name Margaret, so I could be called Meg. I read Little Women and loved Meg straight off, and in my fantasy world that was the name I used."

"And I love it too. It suits you very well." Adam assured her.

"Thank you. That's who I'll be then. But your father and brothers are going to be shocked, so I think maybe the time has come for me to tell them a little about myself."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I shall have to tell them something or they will think I'm mad as well as a misbehaved woman."

"Very well, whatever you want. I will be right beside you for support, should you need it."

"Thank you Adam."

"Since we've been talking, I realise you have not yet told me about how you came about to have the money." Adam questioned.

"I knew you wouldn't let me get away with telling you about the money. Very well. Well my father died suddenly of a heart attack and I'm not sorry to say that I was glad. But apparently he had not made a Will, and one day not long after he died, a man from his bank came to talk with me. With me! Well, whatever was I to say to him. I found some material and draped it over my head like a shawl, as I had no idea where my hat was hidden, and met him in the lounge."

Adam was listening to her every word.

"He told me that my father had not left a Will and therefore I was the only beneficiary. I told him I didn't want anything from my father. Why he had not made a Will I'll never know, but he told me that was the law and that it was up to me to do with it as I wanted. He then asked if I wished to stay on living in the house and I happily told him NO. I would be leaving as soon as possible."

"That was a bit hasty, don't you think?" Adam said.

"Yes, you're right. The Bank Manager told me the same thing, to hold off for the moment. I told him I knew nothing about banking matters. He then asked me if I would like him to sell the house for me and put all proceeds together with the money already in my father's account. I told him yes, and as quickly as possible, as I needed to be gone from that place."

"And where were you planning to go, with no possessions or provisions of any kind?" Adam asked, playfully.

"Well, alright. At that time I hadn't thought it through. Happy now? So I went around the house, looking and searching for my hat. I would need that, as my hair was continually shaved off from that time I told you about, so it would take some time to grow back again."

Adam noticed a small spark of Mary Kelly in that statement and smiled.

"What are you smiling about? she asked with a frown.

"I detected a little of Mary Kelly in that last sentence and it made me realise that perhaps there is a little of her in you after all. Now continue on." Adam mildly ordered, again with a smile.

"When all had been completed and the house sold, I was told how much money there was in the account. It was quite substantial. But I didn't want it. I didn't want anything of _HIS_. So I told the Bank Manager to leave it just where it was. But he said he couldn't do that, but if I would agree for him to transfer the account to me, then it would officially be mine and to do with as I wished."

"But how could this be done without knowing your name, if indeed you had ever been given one?" Adam asked.

"Well you might ask. I can only surmise that he had adopted me when he married my mother and I asked the Bank Manager if I could see a balance sheet of the account first, before I made my final decision. He agreed. And when I saw it I found my surname to be Pearce. He was Thomas Pearce. So Mary Pearce was invented. The account was formalised and I had plans to make. I asked the Bank Manager, his name was Mr Welles, if he knew of a lady who could help me with things. He said he would and sent me Mrs. Dobson. She was a godsend. Oh, what have I just said."

"See, you are relaxing now. That's a very good sign."

Meg smiled at Adam. "I asked Mrs. Dobson to do some shopping for me, a bonnet, with lace trimming all round, a dress, and underthings, you know the sort of things. Oh, by the way, I know I told you I wanted none of his money, I changed my mind. I took $200 dollars from the account to buy things I thought I might need, including some wigs that I wanted and have enough money left to travel with as far west I could. And then eventually to San Francisco where I could earn enough money to take a ship to wherever, maybe Australia, and start afresh. That's what I had planned."

"I see. And do you know what could happen to you in San Francisco? No, I suppose not. There are many dangers there, especially for a woman alone."

"I might just pretend to be Tom Rider again." Meg looked at Adam with a hopeful expression. "Alright, maybe I hadn't thought it all out."

"Obviously, but let's get back to the money. "What did you decide to do with the rest of the money?"

"Well, I sat down one evening and gave it very serious thought. I knew I didn't want it, or anything to do with what was his, except to start me off. And once that was gone, I would be on my own and would have to earn money along the way for food and a bed. Which I did. But to go back to your question, I thought of what would displease and anger _HIM_ the most. To squander the money? No. I decided it would be only just to use it for good purposes. So as I travelled along, I had the bank send money to where I thought it would do most good."

"Well that was a wonderful thing to have done. And then you ended up here in Virginia City and found me. Or I should say I found you and our adventure began, beginning badly but ended up good."

"I hope you will now use the money I gave you to design and build onto the church and school."

"I will do as you ask, and willingly." Adam said, and hugged Meg tightly and kissed her, but not too strongly, still not wanting to frighten her, knowing her past. She will need time to adjust to someone who will show her what love really is.

"I have one more thing to do with the money and that is purchase a new organ and send it to Father Phillip in Winslow. I know he won't refuse the gift. Then if there is any money left, I will send it as a donation toward the restoration of the church. And that will be the end of the money and my connection with _HIM_."

"Oh, there's still another thing to sort out." Adam declared. We'll have to write to Mr Welles at the bank and tell him of your change of name, but first we need to have it documented. We'll go into Virginia City and see Hiram Wood, our lawyer, and get it organised." Adam had thought of everything.

"That sounds fine." Blushing, Meg spoke very quietly, after taking a deep breath. "Would you kiss me properly, I could sense you were holding back, and I want to experience a proper kiss."

"With all my heart, Meg." Adam bent his head towards Meg and this time thoroughly kissed her, and to his surprise, she responded automatically in returning his kiss.

"Wow, that surely was a wonderful kiss." And for the moment, Mary had forgotten her previous thoughts about leaving the Ponderosa.

NB: Little Women was not written at this time, but hey, author's privilage.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

After all the legal matters were finally resolved, Adam and Meg had lunch at the International Hotel before heading back to the Ponderosa. On the journey back, Adam decided to take a break at his favourite spot, looking out over Lake Tahoe. He helped Meg down from the carriage and laid a blanket on the grass for them to sit on.

"Now is there anything else I can get for you. Anything you need?" Adam asked, smiling.

"Oh no Adam, you have given me so much already. I'm so undeserving of it all."

"I have already told you not to think along those lines. I believe you are deserving of my love. My dearest wish now is to protect and care for you always. It is all such a great pleasure to me. I hope you understand that."

"Oh I do, Adam, I do. It's just so hard to believe that you or anyone could love me so. Maybe, given time I will come to believe it. But just at this moment I'm still struggling with it. You are just an amazing man, having so much patience with me."

"That was not always the case, I remember." He said with a chuckle.

"Oh, I know, I was totally bad and surprised you did not take me in hand whilst I was first at the Ponderosa. I was sure either you or your Pa would have, or perhaps should have. I hated myself the whole time, but you do now see why I was, like I was. It was only to get you all to feel revulsion toward me. Don't you see, God brought me to you, knowing what my feelings would be once we had met. That was his punishment to me. I could never allow anything further to happen between us and so Mary Kelly was born. I felt such love exuding from within your home. I wept from such jealousy. Wishing I had had just a little love during my life, but now I've found it and it feels so good.

"No Mary, I believe God brought you to me in his forgiveness of you, if indeed you needed his forgiveness at all. I want you in my life. You have found your way into my heart and I want very much to love and cherish you for the rest of our lives." With those words, Meg knew she could now never leave Adam.

"Yes, I believe you Adam and maybe one day it might just happen." Meg sighed. "But I just want to take my time and learn to live with my new life a little longer. Get to know you better and feel more relaxed." Meg then fell silent in her own thoughts. It must surely end with an agreement between them of their future together and to bring forth a new and loving full life for Meg. ….

A few days later, at breakfast, Meg was asking Adam if he needed to go into Virginia City.

"As a matter of fact I do. I have to pick up wiring supplies and other things. Why, did you need to go in too?"

"Yes I do. But I'm not telling you what for, so don't ask. Since you've given me a little money, there are a few things I'd like to buy, but on my own." Meg said, in all seriousness. "You could even go and have a beer as I might be a little time with my purchases."

"Alright. Straight after breakfast we'll make a start." Adam answered, wondering what it could possibly be that she wanted so earnestly. "But Hoss will be coming too."

"Oh, that's fine. We'll be glad for your company, Hoss."

"I'll be happy for your company too." Hoss said, beaming at Meg's compliment.

They were all soon together journeying towards Virginia City. Meg felt a little ashamed at what she was planning to do. 'What did Ben say about missing out some of the truth.' She thought. 'Oh yes, it's a lie of omission and just as wrong as an out and out lie.' Oh well, she will have to face up to the consequences if need be.

They dropped Meg off, Adam having helped her down from the buckboard.

"Let's say we'll meet up in an hour. Is that okay with you, Meg?" Adam asked.

"Oh yes, I should be through by then, but I want to take my time. Maybe say hi to some folks I have met through church too. Where shall we meet?" She asked.

"Well," said Hoss, "let's meet up outside the mercantile. I would like to have a beer first, eh Adam? That long dusty road in has made my mouth dry and I would like to get refreshed before I tackle the hauling of the wire and such. What say you Adam?"

"Sounds good to me, Hoss. Okay. So that's one hour, outside the mercantile, Meg."

"Yes, that should be fine. Enjoy your beers." And with that Meg started walking down the street. She paused, pretending to look in a shop window, but was really watching and waiting to see Adam and Hoss enter the saloon before she could carry out her mission. When they had entered she turned and made her way to Dr. Martin's office.

She knocked on the door and entered. There was one person, a woman, sitting, waiting to see the doctor. 'Please don't let me have to wait for too long.' Meg thought. And just then the inner door opened and Dr. Martin came out with a young lady and came and stood in front of the woman sitting in the waiting room.

"There is nothing to worry about Mrs. Meddoes." Dr. Martin said. "Lilian was very brave when I took her stitches out." turned to Lilian. "Now young lady, no more handling of knives for a while, okay?"

"Yes, okay Dr. Martin. I will be more careful in the future. Come on Ma, we can go home now." And with that the two ladies left the waiting room, much to Meg's relief.

"Won't you come through, Meg?" Meg had been introduced to Dr. Martin at the ranch one time, when he was invited to have dinner with them. "Is there something I can help you with."

"Yes there is. I'm not ill or anything, but I want you to check me over."

"Of course. Is there anything you are particularly concerned about?"

"What happens in this consultation will go no further, will it?" Meg asked.

"Of course not. This is a doctor patient consultation and therefore is confidential."

"Alright," Meg said, and taking a deep breath, "I need to know if I can still have children. That's number 1. And number 2, I need you to look at my back and tell me what you think I can do about it, if anything at all."

"Very well. If you would undress and lay on the couch, I will proceed with my examination."

About a half hour later, and after Meg had dressed, Dr. Martin asked her to come and sit next to him

at his desk. Meg told him a little about herself and of having had three previous pregnancies.

"Now then Meg. Number 1. I see no problem with you having children. Everything is quite normal.

Number 2. There is one welt that has not quite healed, which I have just treated, but I cannot reduce the scarring. I can, however, prescribed a salve which might help soften your skin. How all this came about, I won't ask."

"Thank you Dr. Martin. I asked for this examination as it may be that Adam has it in his mind to ask me to marry him, that's why I needed to know about children. If that were the case, I would love to be able to give him a child or two." She said, with a smile. "But as to my back, this is not something I could do myself."

"And presumably you don't want Adam to know. But he is likely to find out once you are married."

"Yes, I realise that, but I would like to give my back a chance to improve before that happens."

"Dr. Martin suddenly had an idea. "I know, and if you agree, perhaps you would let Hop Sing help. He is a fine carer of wounds, a healer himself, of sorts and would trust him with my life. I could write explaining what needs to be done and he could carry this out at the ranch when everyone is out working. What do you think?"

"It sounds like a good idea, but wouldn't Hop Sing tell the others, or at least Ben, what was going on?"

"No. You would be in a doctor/patient kind of relationship, which I'll explain to Hop Sing and confidentiality would still apply. Hop Sing would know that. He is a good soul.

"Very well, can you give me the salve today?"

"Oh yes, I have some in my cabinet." He rose and went across the room, opened his cabinet and took out the salve required. "Here you are. Once only a day. Time of day is not important, except once you begin try and keep to the same time each day. It works much better with routine." He then sat at his desk and wrote out the letter for Hop Sing. "There you are. Just give this to Hop Sing and he will work out a plan."

"Thank you Dr. Martin. What would I do without you."

"Hopefully, when I see you next, you'll be able to tell me there is some improvement."

"I hope so, and thanks again." Meg said, shaking the doctor's hand before going through the door.

'So Adam Cartwright, you have found your lady at last.' Paul Martin thought and smiled to himself.

Meg quickly made her way to the emporium and made a purchase of several bottles of wine. She looked at the clock on the wall and could see she had just five minutes left before she had to meet Adam and Hoss. As she made her way out of the shop, she almost bumped into one of the ladies she had met at church.

"Well, hello dear. So nice to see you. Hope you are keeping well."

"Yes very well, thank you Mrs. Williams. Sorry to rush, but I've got to get back to Adam and Hoss, they'll be waiting for me."

"That's alright dear, I'll see you in church next week. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." And Meg hurried out through the door making her way across and down the street towards the mercantile, clutching her purchases, now closely wrapped up and disguised. She saw them at the buckboard who turned and smiled as she approached.

"Had a good shop?" Adam asked.

"Oh yes. I bought all that I required."

"You took an hour to buy one parcel?"

"Yes, and I told you I would probably run into people that I've met at church, and I did." Trying her best to look Adam in the eye and not betray anything, to alert him to a possible lie. 'Well, I _did_ run into someone from the church' she thought. 'Not a total lie.'

"Okay, let's head for home." Hoss announced. "After all that hauling, I'm beginning to feel hungry and can't wait for my lunch."

Adam and Meg laughed. "Can you tell what's for lunch Hoss?" Meg said, laughing. She had been told of how he could smell cooking from miles away.

"No, but once we're back on the road towards home, I will be able to tell." Hoss too, was laughing at this point.

"Home then, everyone." Adam said, helping Meg up into the buckboard. Hoss and Adam followed and with a click of the reins, they moved off.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

That evening as all the Cartwrights were readying to sit down to dinner, Meg came down the stairs holding out her parcel from town.

"I wish to thank you all for your love and kindness towards me with this little gift bought from my allowance," she said, giving Adam a smile, and with my gratitude for all that you have done for me." Meg passed the parcel to Ben, who took it gratefully from her.

"You don't have to pay us back for anything. We have grown to love you as one of our own. Thank you very much, all the same." Ben then unwrapped the parcel to reveal three bottles of wine. "Well this has come at just the right time. We'll have a bottle with our dinner. Thank you again Meg."

Once everyone was sitting at the table and each held a glass in their hand, Adam stood announcing, "This calls for a toast. To our dear Meg for the anguish," he turned to Meg and winked, "and joy you have brought us. May you never leave us. To Meg." They all raised their glasses and together they chorused, "To Meg."

Meg's eyes welled up. "Thank you all so much."

"Well, let's eat." Said Hoss.

"Hoss, one moment." Ben said. "Meg would you honour us by saying grace."

"Certainly. She said. "Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful food laid before us, and for finding it in your heart to forgive me, for finding me this place and this company. My eternal gratitude. Amen."

"Amen." Was chorussed by all. With that said, they all began to fill their plates.

They all moved into the big room to have their coffee and brandy. Meg felt the time has come for the rest of the family to know the truth about her. She called in Hop Sing, feeling he should be aquainted with her past too. And so she began the tale of her past life, sparing them certain details that only Adam knew.

"I hope perhaps, now you can understand my behaviour when I first arrived. And that you will forgive me for it. I love you all so dearly."

"We will talk of it no more," Ben said, with such loving, having heard the truth at last. "From now on, as far as I'm concerned, your life began here on your return with Adam from Winslow."

"Hear, hear." All three brother agreed, wholeheartedly.

"Thank you all, but I must say goodnight. I need some time alone. So if you will forgive me I'd like to retire now." Meg rose from her seat, smiling at the others, as they two rose from their seats. "Thank you." She then quietly walked over to the stairs, took one look back, smiling at them all and carried on up to her room.

Ben felt bad for having doubted Meg was right for Adam, and good that he had not acceded to her request to leave, although he was sure she had changed her mind as there had been no further talk of it. But now he was happy for the two of them.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

During the following weeks, Meg and Hop Sing kept their appointed time to administer the salve to her back. Hop Sing was pleased with the results.

"I think now looks much better, Missy Meg, scars not so much notice, but softer. But you know they will never go completely go away?"

"Yes Hop Sing, I realise that. And the one that was not completely healed, is fine now, right?"

"Yes, all heal up nicely." Hop Sing said, with a smile, although at the same time very sad at the thought of all that she must have been through.

"Thank you so much Hop Sing. What would I do without you. You have been so kind."

"You like Mr Adam a lot, and he like you too. I can tell. You should not keep this from him. He will not be happy that you have."

"I know Hop Sing, and I will, soon, I promise." Meg said, gulping, thinking of Adam's reaction. As Hop Sing left Meg alone to get dressed, she heard the front door bang shut.

"Anyone home?" Came a loud, deep velvet voice.

"Oh no! Meg heard herself say, "it's going to be must sooner that I thought. Oh Lord."

Hop Sing had just reached the middle landing as Adam stood taking off his hat and gun belt. "Mr. Adam, you home early. Something the matter?" he said, hiding the towel and jar containing the salve behind his back.

"No Hop Sing, I've finished my work earlier than expected. Where's Meg?" Adam said, looking at Hop Sing's with suspicion.

"I'm here." Meg said coming down the stairs. "Thank you Hop Sing, I'll take over from here."

"Okay. I go to my kitchen." And turning towards Meg, whispered, "Good luck."

"Thanks," she whispered in return.

With that said, he hurriedly carried on down the stairs and across the room and into the kitchen.

"What's going on Meg?" Adam said as he walked towards the stairs, meeting her at the bottom.

"Something I should know about?"

"Yes Adam. I need to tell you something. Something I lied about, and before you let loose with your temper, please let me explain. Let's go and sit by the fire."

They walked across to the sofa and sat, Adam sensing the worst.

"I promise, after this, I will never lie to you again."

"You've lied to me, again?"

"Yes, but only to find some truths. Let me tell you, please."

"Okay, but be warned, I'm not well pleased."

Meg paused and took a breath. "When we went into town a little while back, when you and Hoss were picking up the wire, remember."

"Yes, I remember."

"I went to see Dr. Martin. I wanted to find out about my health prospects, which turned out to be sort of okay."

"Sort of okay? Are you ill?" Adam raised his voice. "You were ill and didn't tell me?"

"No, not ill exactly. I told Dr. Martin a little of what happened to me and then I asked him to examine me to see if I was able to have more children and also my back. I have terrible scars on my back and asked him if there was anything that could be done to help with them. He recommended a salve to help, but that it would need a daily treatment, so, together, we enlisted Hop Sing's help. I made them both promise not to say anything. Please don't blame them." Meg said all this in one breath, all the while looking down at her feet.

"Why wouldn't you tell me all of this? And please look at me." Adam asked, beginning to get annoyed at her distrust.

Meg then looked up into his eyes. "I don't really know. I'm so sorry Adam, please forgive me."

"I'll think about it. So that was why you only had one purchase. And I suppose you didn't meet anyone from the church either." Meg could see that Adam was very angry at her lie.

"Oh, as a matter of fact I did. But only one and that was only a quick hello and goodbye. That was when I told you I would probably run into people I'd met at the church, but failed to tell you the honest truth."

"A lie of omission."

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Then looking up into his eyes she said, "I learnt that everything is quite normal, and that my back is looking much better, but the scars will never disappear."

"I don't care about scars, only you. But I'm disappointed you still cannot trust me. I thought we had gotten over that hurdle. Do I have to make it clear again to you that lying is something I will not tolerate."

"I know what you promised if I lied to you again and I'm so sorry for having done it. I just wanted to be sure about myself, for you."

"For me? Meaning what?" Adam asked, still trying to hold his temper.

"I know now that I truly love and trust you, Adam, I won't ever lie to you again, I promise." Meg rose from the sofa and placed herself across his knee. "So now, please get can we get this over with, so we can start over."

Giving Meg one hard swat to her skirt covered backside, Adam said, "I haven't the heart to give you the tanning you deserve. I do, however, want your full trust in the future. If you lie to me again I will not hesitate next time. Understand?" And with one more swat he stood her up.

"Yes, Adam. I understand."

"Alright then. Now come here." He brought her back down to sit on his lap and kissed her, which she returned gladly. "All is now forgiven and we start afresh."

"Thank you, Adam, for your patience with me. I know I have caused you a lot of trouble and worry. I will do better in the future, I promise." Meg said, giving him one more kiss and standing up was

about to walk to the kitchen to tell Hop Sing that all was okay, when Adam stopped her.

"Where're you going. I thought we could spend the rest of the afternoon together."

"Oh yes, Adam, that would be grand, but I'd just like to tell Hop Sing all is okay with us."

"Fine. Adam stood up. "I'll go upstairs and have a quick wash and change, then perhaps we'll have your first riding lesson. How would that be?"

"What! Me ride a horse. I've never done that before, I'll fall off." But then, with a smile, "It does sound like fun though."

"Good. And you won't fall off, I'll be there to hold you." And with that, Meg made her way to the kitchen and Adam went upstairs.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

A week later Adam arrived home with a letter from the bank in New York addressed to Miss Pearce.

They were alone in the big room.

"What on earth could this be about now?" Meg wondered. "From Mr. Welles I suppose. He's lucky to have found that I was still here."

"Well, you'll need to open it to find out." Adam said in amusement.

Meg tore the envelope open and found a letter and another envelope inside. "This is intriguing. I wonder….. I know open it and find out."

Adam smiled on.

Meg read the letter out to Adam.

_"Dear Miss Pearce, I must apologise for not sending this to you earlier, but have just discovered it in our archive room. The attached letter has been in our possession for some years. The gentleman who took charge of it has since retired. There was a note pinned to it, saying 'left here by a woman, with instructions to send it on following the death of Mr. Thomas Pearce'." _

"This is all very mysterious. This envelope is a little heavy for just a letter. Alright, alright, I'll open the other envelope." Meg said, giving Adam a stern look. She read on…

_January 18th, 1836, Medford, Massachusetts._

_My Dearest Child, _

_How it grieves me that I shall never know you or watch you grow to adulthood. But be assured you and your mother are my only thoughts as I lay here losing my struggle for life._

_Because of my situation I felt I wanted you to know something of me and of my dreams, we should all have them, you know. Your mother is four months pregnant and if I have a son, I would wish him to be named David James, after me, and if a girl, Margaret Jane after my mother and my wife, your mother, who has looked after me faithfully during my illness._

Meg was not been able to continue reading the letter as she suddenly burst into tears, dropping the letter into her lap. Adam was at her side in a moment and took the letter from her. When he began to read it, he understood her tears and continued reading aloud from where Meg had stopped.

_First, let me tell you about me. I worked as a Bank Manager for most of my working life, but that I also have a love of the arts, that is music, art, literature and took great pleasure in playing the organ in church each Sunday. I thank my parents for allowing me to learn to play, as it must have cost them quite a bit for my tutelage. I was hoping to be able to teach you to love these things too, as such a great deal of satisfaction is gained from these accomplishments._

_I was given a very good education and was accepted at College, where I gained my literary degree. I would have loved to become a writer, but this was not to be. However, I just hope I have been able to pass on my love of these things to you my Dearest Child._

_I have told your mother not to grieve too long after my passing. That I want her to find another man, who will love her and adopt my child. I pray to God that this will be so. It's not an easy life for a woman alone with a child. _

_I have asked your mother to enclose my pocket watch for you in the hope that when the time comes you will be able to pass it on when you have a son of your own. Be it the only thing of true value that I have. I say value, but my only real true value in my life is you and your mother. _

_I wish you love and happiness in your life. I only wish that I could have been there for you. Alas this was not to be._

_Your loving father _

_David James _

Adam wrapped his arms around Meg. "Oh my love, what a revelation, but think sweetheart what a wonderful shock it is. That devil was not your father, not related by blood at all. Your mother must have left this letter with the bank, once she realised what _he _was really like. Felt it was safer to be in someone else's hands. No doubt, if _he_ had found it, it would have been destroyed and you would never have known who your real father was. What foresight your mother had."

Adam held up the envelope and saw an object wrapped in a thin material. He opened it up and held up the pocket watch for Meg to see. She was still blinded by tears and not able to focus just then. He lifted Meg out of the chair, sat in it himself and gently pulled Meg onto his lap. She immediately clutched him tight and laid her face against his chest, wetting his shirt with her tears. His arms around her gave her such comfort and soon found that she was no longer crying, just quietly resting there.

"Oh Adam, I have such mixed emotions. My mother not daring to tell me that Thomas Pearce was not my true father. How she must have feared him. And then hearing of the loss of my father, David James. And hearing of his life and dreams, and then the watch. And now I know who I really am. Oh Adam, I can't take it all in."

"I know and understand, but do you know what this means?" Adam said in soft velvet tones.

"What?" Meg asked, still clinging to Adam.

"You now have a full name, Margaret Jane James and we know how old you are." Adam said, trying desperately to bring her out of the shock of it all. "And we know where your thirst for knowledge, love of music and literature came from. From your father. That's such a comfort to know."

I wonder if he went to Harvard, being it's not that far away from Medford."

"Oh, yes it is. Just wonderful. But we don't have an actual birth date, do we."

"I think we can still use June as the month, but I would love, now, to make it the 18th in memory of your father's letter. How would you feel about that?"

"Oh, yes Adam. Thank you. You have such good thoughts all the time. Yes the 18th. So we have June 18, 1836. It's now 1862. So that makes me twenty-six years of age."

"It certainly does, and just right for me." He said, kissing away the last of her tears. "Everyone is going to be so happy for you, that you now know who you really are."

"Adam?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"Can we find out more about my father, David James, do you think. Not right now, I need time to let all of this sink in." Meg asked, still holding firmly onto Adam.

"Of course. Whenever you're ready. We might even take a long trip to Medford one day, to find out more. It might be that you have relatives there. What do you think?" Adam said, still holding Meg firmly, never wanting to let her go.

"Thank you Adam….. for everything."


	23. Chapter 23

I once again wish to thank everyone for their very kind reviews and support. They have boosted me no end. And so with a sad heart I conclude my story.

Chapter 23

Life continued on at the Ponderosa, Meg and all the Cartwrights getting closer and ever closer. Ben could now see what a wonderful person Meg was and delighted for her, with her new found knowledge. She had at last found happiness being with them.

About a month later Adam asked Meg to take a ride with him. She gratefully agreed and they took a picnic basket with them. They arrived at a place overlooking the lake and arranged the blanket and picnic basket on the ground so that they could enjoy the view. They talked and talked and ate their picnic lunch. Then Adam stood up and offered his hand to Meg to help her stand.

"I have something to show you. I hope you will be pleased." They walked a little distance from the picnic site to a shaded area. Adam had arranged for a single headstone be erected there.

Meg looked on in silence, then said, "Oh Adam, how wonderful of you to think of this. You're so generous, in thinking of me. A headstone for my children." Tears were forming in her eyes. Written on the headstone were the names Aaron/Rachel, David/Ruth and Peter/Mary - Beloved children of Margaret Jane James/Cartwright and inscribed: 'Now resting with God but in our hearts for ever.' "Maybe now I'll have a chance of seeing you in heaven." Meg whispered to herself.

Adam went down on one knee, in the age old tradition, and taking hold of Meg's hand said, "Will you marry me and be with me for the rest of our lives. I ask this as witnessed by your three dear children."

"Yes, oh yes, yes, Adam. You have given me a new beginning and I love you so much. Yes Adam, I will marry you." Meg felt she has been resurrected from out of Hell and landed in Heaven on earth.

"Then let us go home and tell the rest of the family." Adam said, as he stood, held out his hand and helped Meg into the buggy and away home.

_**Epilogue**__:_

Adam built their home on the very lovely spot he had planned, overlooking the lake and surrounded by trees and wild flowers and not far from Meg's children's headstone. Meg visited her children often with freshly pulled petals and scattered them around. She could never stop this ritual from her past. And blessed Adam each day for his love and goodness.

Meg fell pregant twice more, a boy and a girl, David Adam and Elizabeth Margaret, after her father and Adam's mother. She now had a son to whom she would give the pocket watch to some day.

Adam had never felt so blessed, with his wife and two children beside him. Life was good.


End file.
